You Hold the Keys to Your Own Handcuffs: How To Stop Abandoning Yourself
Send us a textHave you ever wondered what might happen if you stopped letting your excuses run the show and started turning up the volume on your self-worth? For years, my excuses screamed while my sense of value barely whispered. It's a pattern that keeps so many of us trapped, shrinking in rooms where we should shine and holding our tongues when we have something valuable to say.Those familiar excuses don't always sound like "I can't." They're sneakier, disguising themselves as reasonable thoughts: "It's not the right time" or "I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable." But beneath these seemingly logical statements lies an unspoken belief that we're not worth disrupting others' comfort for our own growth. The truth? Excuses are just fear wearing sophisticated camouflage – fear of failing, being seen, or breaking out of the roles we've always played.Breaking free begins with brutal honesty. That excuse about not having time? It's really saying "I'm afraid to take up space in my own life." Claiming you're not ready translates to "I don't trust myself to follow through." The day everything changed for me was when my attorney said words that broke me wide open: "You hold the keys to your own handcuffs." I realized I'd been sitting in a prison with open doors, waiting for permission to walk out, waiting to feel ready when deep down, I knew I never would. So I moved – scared and messy – and discovered that none of the catastrophic fears holding me hostage came true. Instead, I found peace, clarity, and myself. Your excuses will always offer comfort, but your self-worth will give you freedom. What one thing will you do today to prove to yourself that you matter? Share this episode with someone who needs to remove their own handcuffs and subscribe so you never miss a moment of empowerment.
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Own What You’re Good At. Let Go Of What You're Not
Send us a textHave you ever caught yourself saying "I should be more organized" or "Why can't I be better at this?" For years, I was trapped in the same cycle—trying to fix things that weren't broken instead of embracing what already worked naturally. The turning point came when I finally gave myself permission to admit what I wasn't good at.This episode dives deep into the liberating power of owning both your strengths and weaknesses. We explore the dangerous lie that we must be good at everything to be valuable, and how that pursuit of "well-roundedness" can actually dull your natural gifts. When you dilute your strengths just to cover your weaknesses, you don't become better—you become blurred.I'll share my personal journey of both what I excel at (taking action without overthinking, encouraging others, storytelling) and what I struggle with (organization, logistics, crafts). More importantly, I'll walk you through a practical five-step process to identify where you're naturally gifted, recognize what's draining your energy, and build systems that leverage your strengths while supporting your gaps. You'll learn the crucial difference between healthy self-awareness and using your limitations as excuses to stay stuck.Ready to stop spinning your wheels trying to be balanced in everything and start being brilliant in your own lane? Grab a pen, pull up a chair, and prepare to transform how you view your capabilities. Remember: you were never meant to be everything, but you were always meant to be impactful. Your unique strengths are waiting to be fully embraced!
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Moving Forward When Self-Doubt Screams: Building Confidence Through Action
Send us a textHave you ever been paralyzed by that voice in your head screaming that you're not enough? That familiar heaviness that makes you question everything you're doing? You're far from alone. This raw, unfiltered conversation dives into what it truly takes to move forward when self-doubt is riding shotgun.Confidence doesn't appear before action—it's built through the messy, imperfect moments when we choose to show up anyway. Through personal stories of awkward firsts and uncomfortable growth, we explore how real confidence isn't handed to us but earned through keeping promises to ourselves. The truth is, our brains are wired for safety, not growth, which explains why they fight so hard against the vulnerability that comes with putting ourselves out there.What if the win isn't in the perfect outcome but in the brave choice to begin? What if success actually requires being willing to be embarrassed, misunderstood, and seen trying before you're ready? This episode challenges the notion that we need to feel confident before taking action, offering practical strategies like starting a "proof journal" to document your courage. Whether you're feeling stuck, uninspired, or buried under the weight of perfectionism, this conversation offers a permission slip to embrace the messiness of growth and recognize that every awkward step forward is actually building something powerful—trust in yourself. Your purpose isn't to be perfect; it's to serve through your authentic, brave, messy humanity.Ready to stop waiting for permission and start building real confidence? Listen now, and remember: be bold, be brave, and know that I believe in you.
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Our Bodies Keep the Score: The Trauma Survivors Hypersensitive Startle Reflexes
Send us a textHave you ever reacted so intensely to someone sneaking up behind you that people laughed or told you to "calm down"? That hypersensitive startle reflex isn't an overreaction—it's your body's trauma response working exactly as designed.Drawing from personal experience, I dive deep into why certain "harmless pranks" can trigger full-blown nervous system meltdowns for people with trauma histories. When someone with PTSD jumps at a small noise or unexpected touch, their body isn't just being jumpy—it's reliving past danger. The science is clear: trauma doesn't just live in our memories; it's encoded in our physiology, creating a hypervigilant state that keeps us constantly scanning for threats.What most people don't see is the aftermath—the racing heart that won't slow down, the tightness in the chest, the shaking hands, and the hours it takes to truly recover from what others dismiss as "just a joke." I share five practical, science-backed techniques to help regulate your nervous system after being triggered, from intentional breathing patterns to grounding exercises that bring you back to the present moment. For those who love someone with trauma, simple adjustments like announcing yourself before entering a room can make a world of difference in helping them feel safe.This episode goes beyond just understanding reactions—it's about creating environments where healing can happen. Because respecting someone's trauma responses isn't about being overly sensitive; it's about basic human kindness and valuing their healing journey more than a momentary laugh. Share this with someone who needs to hear it, and remember: your reactions aren't wrong—they're your body trying to keep you safe.
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Protecting Your Energy: The Hardest Lesson I Had To Learn
Send us a textHave you ever felt completely drained after certain conversations or interactions? That pit in your stomach when specific names appear on your phone? You're not alone. Today's powerful conversation tackles one of life's most challenging yet liberating lessons: protecting your energy isn't selfish—it's essential self-respect.Drawing from my personal journey as a recovering codependent, I share the transformative moment sitting in my car after yet another depleting interaction when I realized I was betraying myself by constantly overextending for others. We've been sold the false narrative that being constantly available makes us good people, when in reality, it often leads to resentment, exhaustion, and disconnection from our authentic selves.This episode offers practical guidance on identifying your energy leaks, setting boundaries without guilt, and handling the inevitable pushback when you start prioritizing your wellbeing. Learn the difference between healthy boundaries (filters, not walls) and using "protecting my energy" as an excuse to avoid growth. Discover why simple phrases like "That doesn't work for me" require no further explanation, and why not everyone deserves unlimited access to your life.The most valuable lesson? Boundaries should make you feel lighter, not smaller. Your energy determines how much of yourself you get to keep—and you're absolutely worth keeping. Whether you're struggling with people-pleasing tendencies or simply feeling overwhelmed, this episode provides the permission and practical tools to reclaim your peace. Save this episode, share it with friends who need this message, and subscribe so you don't miss our ongoing conversation about authentic growth and courage.
Welcome to She Lost It, the podcast for anyone ready to let go of what’s been weighing them down and step into a life they truly love. I’m Stefani—an accidental health coach, entrepreneur, mom, and someone who knows what it’s like to lose it all, start over, and come out stronger.In this first episode, I’m sharing my story—the raw, real, and sometimes messy truth about how I went from drowning in anxiety, debt, food addiction, and people-pleasing to finally taking control of my life. But this podcast isn’t just about my journey—it’s about yours.Each episode, I’ll share practical tips to help you break free from the patterns holding you back, whether it’s your mindset, your habits, or the stories you’ve been telling yourself. We’ll talk about what it takes to build grit, find your voice, and create a life that feels truly authentic.Think of this as a conversation between friends—the kind where you leave feeling lighter, inspired, and ready to take action. So if you’re ready to lose what’s been keeping you stuck and gain a whole new perspective, hit play. Let’s do this together.
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