Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

• MFP 355: Making Your Marriage #1

  Summary In this re-release of  Episode MFP191, we open up about one of the biggest challenges every couple faces—finding time for each other in the midst of busy family life. After 31 years of marriage, we’ve learned that love doesn’t just grow on its own; it takes intention and effort because although our marriages are always Important, they are rarely Urgent. In this episode, we share our own stories, some laughs, and practical ways to stay connected—whether through daily check-ins, regular date nights, or an occasional weekend away. We also talk about how to make this happen and what to do when you are together to use your time well.  When we invest time in our marriage, our whole family benefits. So take a moment, grab your spouse, and listen with us. Let’s strengthen our marriages together—because your relationship is worth every minute. Key Takeaways Marriage is never Urgent, but it is always Important.  That means you have to intentionally take time for your spouse Marriage is good for people and their mental, emotional, and even physical health. We need to give our spouse our time - daily connections, date nights, and extended time away. Lack of time together leads to decreased “love tank”.  A full “love tank” smooths out the rough spots in marriage and makes it easier to ignore the little things.  You have to be together without the children to renew your marriage and make strong the “couple love” between you which is essential for them.  You need a community around you to give inspiration and support for your marriage.  Make boundaries and goals for your time together.  Use it wisely!  Couple Discussion Questions When is our daily connection and regular date night?  What is the best way for us to spend that time together? 

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• MFP354: How Can I Have a Relationship with God?

  "Being Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but the encounter with an event, a person, which gives life a new horizon and a decisive direction." - Pope Benedict XVI   Summary Every one of us is on a journey towards eternity.  Our life here on earth, our vocation, our careers, our relationships are all just ways that we can grow in our knowledge of ourselves and of God.  But many of us struggle to learn how we can stretch ourselves and prioritize our own spiritual growth.  In this podcast, we share our own stories of conversation moments and how our spiritual practices have changed and matured over the years. We hope this will give you some inspiration and ideas of how you can come closer to God our Loving Father and see that none of us are ever "done".  We are all on a journey towards our eternal home.     Key Takeaways To be a good mother or father you must first know who you are as a beloved son or daughter.   Do things that put yourself in that place to receive from God such as mass, regular confession, and staying in a state of grace.   Be honest about where you are in your season of life.  Adopt spiritual practices accordingly Our perception of God is colored by our experience of our parents.  Do we see God as having high or low expectations of us?  Do we see God giving us high or low support to achieve those expectations? The most healthy relationship has high expectations and high support to achieve them.  Recognize that we are constantly growing and maturing in our relationship with God and others.  Growth takes time!    Couple Discussion Questions What is our perception of God and the Church?  Where are we right now in our relationship with Him?   How can we as spouses help each other grow in our relationship with both?    Resources Go here to purchase these books!  https://amzn.to/3O6ce8V

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• MFP 353: Why are Kids so Anxious?

  Summary Why are today’s kids more anxious than ever before? Mike and Alicia dive into the growing epidemic of anxiety among children and teens – and how modern parenting, technology, and culture all play a role. Drawing insights from Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious Generation, they explore what happens when we overprotect kids in the real world but underprotect them online. From overscheduled lives and endless screen time to lack of sleep, nutrition, and authentic relationships, today’s children are under tremendous pressure. But there’s hope. The Hernons share concrete, faith-filled ways parents can lead with confidence, slow down family life, and raise children who are resilient, humble, and rooted in reality – not comparison. If you’ve ever wondered how to calm the chaos and restore peace to your home, this episode offers clarity, conviction, and encouragement for every Catholic parent. Key Takeaways Slow down, do less, accept your child for who they are Have a Consistent bedtime and eat together Lead your family with confidence Indoctrinate your children with your philosophy Teach them humility.  Humble kids become content adults Put them in healthy social environments and enjoy true leisure   Couple Discussion Questions Look at your schedule and ask yourself WHY - examine each activity and make sure you are intentional about it  Do we think our children are anxious?  Why and what can we change?    Resources Take our 2025 Listener Survey!    Everything we do here at the Messy Family Project is for couples and families! We work hard to support and encourage moms and dads as they do the hard work of raising children, managing homes and forming a solid, Catholic family culture.   In our survey this year, we are asking for you to share with us some of your greatest challenges and what resources will help you the most. If you have done our survey in the past, please do it again! The more people we have take it, the more effective the information is.    So will you take a few minutes to click on the link below and fill out our survey?   This survey helps us create new products, target our podcasts to serve your needs better, and gives us a deeper insight into the lives of parents today. Will you help us out?   https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/MXKQLYW Check out our Amazon Storefront for the Anxious Generation!  https://www.amazon.com/shop/messyfamilyproject?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_aipsfshop_BS8NWGQYFJSSV1CQ6XBY

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• MFP 352: Laughter and Limits in the Family with Dr. Ray

  Take your calling seriously and yourself lightly   Summary Are you taking parenting a little too seriously? In this episode, we dive into why families need to throw off the burden of “psychological correctness” and rediscover the gift of humor. Parenting isn’t a project—it’s a wild, messy adventure! We’ll share why secure parents can laugh at their mistakes, how to set healthy limits at your table, and how to teach kids the difference between fun teasing and disrespect. Most of all, we’ll remind you that your children are a never-ending source of laugh-worthy moments.  This week we’re joined by the always witty and wise Dr. Ray Guarendi, who brings his trademark humor and insight to help parents embrace joy, laughter, and freedom in family life. Key Takeaways Throw off “psychological correctness”! The gift of humor has been taken away from modern parents because most parents are now overly worried about every word they say.   Parents need to take themselves lightly and stop making parenting into a psychological project.  Those parents who are insecure can’t laugh at themselves.  You know you are secure when you can laugh at your mistakes and find humor in the craziness of family life.  You decide the limits are your table and teach the difference between good-natured teasing and disrespect.  Remember and celebrate that kids are natural sources of laugh-worthy material for life!    Couple Discussion Questions Are we able to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes even with our kids?  What are some of the funny things that have happened in our family?  How can we remember these?    Resources Dr Ray website:  https://www.drray.com/   Take our 2025 Listener Survey!    Everything we do here at the Messy Family Project is for couples and families! We work hard to support and encourage moms and dads as they do the hard work of raising children, managing homes and forming a solid, Catholic family culture.   In our survey this year, we are asking for you to share with us some of your greatest challenges and what resources will help you the most. If you have done our survey in the past, please do it again! The more people we have take it, the more effective the information is.    So will you take a few minutes to click on the link below and fill out our survey?   This survey helps us create new products, target our podcasts to serve your needs better, and gives us a deeper insight into the lives of parents today. Will you help us out?   https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/MXKQLYW  

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• MFP 351: Why Parents Need to Lead, Not Just Accompany

  Summary Parenting isn't just about being present—it's about leading with purpose because children need guidance, not just companionship. In this episode, we start by looking at some quotes from celebrity parents to examine how they are misguided. The reality is that parents are called to protect, not simply please. And we each have different roles:  fathers embodying hope and authority, mothers offering love and intuition. Both are crucial, and when either dominates too much, imbalance follows—leading to fragility or rigidity. We need to recognize our children’s gifts and desires and direct them by setting limits and giving formation.  Where do we get these limits?  By seeking the wisdom that is from above.  We can’t figure out life without God’s wisdom and kids can’t figure life without us. Parents need to hold a vision of who their child can become and make tough calls for their good. Simply “accompanying” isn’t enough. Instead, loving leadership is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give. Key Takeaways   Parenting is leadership, not passive companionship. Fathers and mothers offer distinct but complementary strengths—hope and authority vs. love and intuition. Children need structure, like a river needs banks—boundaries guide them safely. Wisdom is essential—parents must seek it and model it as they lead.   Couple Discussion Questions   In what ways do we each naturally lead our children—where do we shine, and where do we fall short? Are we setting strong enough “banks” for our kids, or are we just going with the flow? How can we invite God's wisdom into our parenting decisions, especially when we're unsure or disagree?   Earthen Vessels book: https://matthewleeanderson.com/book/earthen-vessels/  

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