Established Family Podcast

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Most spouses think their frustration, irritation, numbness, or contempt is just “normal marital tension.”It’s not.When the enemy gains a foothold — what Paul calls topos — he does not waste it. He uses it. He builds on it. And over time, he trains your senses to respond unrighteously to the very covenant you once prayed for.This episode unpacks how temptation becomes sin, sin becomes open doors, open doors become transgression, transgression becomes iniquity… and eventually strongholds. And strongholds are not passive. They are fortresses set up against the righteousness of God — fortresses that begin shaping how you perceive, feel, interpret, and react to your spouse.Scripture shows us repeatedly that unclean spirits manifest in the temple — in the physiology and biology of the human body. They influenced strength (Mark 5), convulsions (Luke 9), infirmity (Luke 13), muteness and blindness (Matthew 9, 12), even overpowering aggression (Acts 19). The body responded to the presence of the spirit.So what makes you think they cannot condition your nervous system to feel anger at the sound of your spouse’s voice… numbness at their touch… exhaustion when peace is possible… or desire for what is outside your covenant?

Most marriages do not collapse overnight. They decline in stages.
In this episode, we uncover the biblical progression of spiritual destruction in marriage — not through psychology, not through cultural language like “drift” or “backsliding,” but through Scripture.
We walk through the spiritual sequence that begins with failed temptations and trials and, if left unaccounted for, progresses into sin, open doors, footholds, transgression, iniquity, strongholds, oppression, and ultimately apostasy.
Not all bondage is at the same level. But every level must be brought into the light.
Ephesians 5:13 says that everything exposed by the light becomes visible. Many spouses do not recognize the depth of spiritual captivity operating in their marriage until it has already borne destructive fruit. By that point, blame is amplified, condemnation is exchanged, and the focus shifts to “what they did” instead of asking where blindness first began.
We teach through the five stages that lead to marital destruction:
• Spiritual Blindness
• Spiritual Hiding
• Spiritual Agreement
• Spiritual Rebellion
• Spiritual Destruction
And we make something very clear: the first stage is blindness.
Every person listening was blind, or is blind, in some area.
We also break down the theological difference between trials and temptation, using Strong’s, Thayer’s, and the TDNT to show how God proves character while the flesh and the enemy seduce it. A trial reveals what is inside. A temptation exposes what has not been strengthened.
When trials come and there is no character, sin follows.
When temptation comes and there is no resistance, open doors form.
And when sin is not repented of or renounced, it progresses.
This episode is not about diagnosing your spouse. It is about bringing your own life into the refiner’s fire and asking:
Where have I failed the trial?
Where have I allowed the door to open?
Where have I agreed with something that grieves the Father?
We also confront a hard truth: many spouses elevate their personal grievances above what grieves God, condemning their spouse with a weight that was never theirs to carry, while simultaneously asking for mercy themselves.
The law condemns. The Spirit brings life.
The letter kills. Christ redeems from the curse.
Today’s activation will lead you through identifying where you have participated in these stages and writing a letter of repentance to your spouse — not from shame, but from freedom.
If you are serious about growing through the stages of marriage toward God’s design, this teaching will expose what must be exposed before restoration can deepen.

Brought to you by ⁠The Marriage Academy⁠https://university.establishedfamily.com/marriage/

Is divorce biblical?Are there really “biblical outs”?And if there are… should you take them?

There was a season in my life where I was striving at full effort as a husband… and producing nothing that carried eternal weight.I was praying.I was working.I was trying.I was providing.But I was unfit for good works.In this episode, I share openly from the heart of a husband who had to come to grips with a hard truth: you can be saved, gifted, and sincere — and still build your marriage on dead works.If you’ve ever felt like nothing in your marriage is enough…If your effort seems to leak out like wages in a bag with holes (Haggai 1)…If you are exhausted from fighting, striving, proving, performing…This conversation is for you.We walk through:The difference between trials and temptation — and the crisis-point where obedience is decidedHow dead works quietly take over Christian marriagesWhy some husbands are working hard but producing no fruitWhat it means to be created for good works (Ephesians 2:10)How your marriage is one of the primary ways you express your salvationI share the moment in my own deliverance journey where I wrote in my journal:“God, give me a revelation of good works.”I didn’t fully understand what I was asking for — but my spirit knew something was missing.Good works are not self-generated effort.They are works that originate from God’s nature, align with His design, and were prepared in advance for you to walk in.When a husband builds in his own name, the home carries strain.When a husband builds in God’s name, the home carries provision.Hebrews 9 tells us the blood of Christ cleanses our conscience from dead works so that we may serve the living God. That cleansing is not abstract theology — it changes how you lead your home.Your marriage is not just a relationship.It is one of the clearest places your salvation becomes visible.If this episode challenges you, comment below:What does a revelation of good works look like for you in your marriage?And if the Holy Spirit is convicting you — don’t resist it.Repent of dead works.Discard the former self.Build with gold, not straw.There is fruit waiting on the other side of obedience.

This is a complimentary module from ⁠The Marriage Academy⁠:https://university.establishedfamily.com/marriage/ In this free Marriage Academy module, we confront the belief systems in marriage that quietly become strongholds—and the fruit they’ve been producing for years.This is Semester 2, Module 2 of The Marriage Academy, where we expose how lies, normalized thinking, and inherited belief systems shape marriages far more than behavior alone.Many couples repent of actions……but never renounce the belief systems that produced them.In this teaching, we walk through Scripture to show how belief systems are formed, how deception operates, and why fruit never changes until agreement changes.Using passages such as 2 Thessalonians 2, Ephesians 4, Romans 6, Matthew 7, John 15, and Jeremiah 6, we unpack how false beliefs about God, truth, identity, and marriage become operating systems that govern:• What feels “normal”• What gets protected• What gets justified• What gets passed down generationallyYou’ll learn why repentance alone is incomplete without renouncing agreement, and how Scripture consistently calls believers to reject, put off, deny, forsake, and cast away systems that oppose God’s truth.This module also addresses:• Why intelligent, high-capacity couples can still produce unhealthy fruit• How marriages unknowingly withhold righteous fruit from one another• Why you cannot serve two belief systems at once• How fruit reveals whether a belief system is still active• The difference between surface change and spiritual transitionBy the end of this teaching, you’ll be guided to:• Identify belief systems that have become strongholds• Renounce agreement with lies that shaped your marriage• Replace false belief systems with the truth of Scripture• Write a letter of repentance to your spouse for upholding false agreementsThis is not marriage advice.This is spiritual alignment.If you change the belief system, you change the fruit.This episode is a free release from The Marriage Academy, our 12-week, four-semester marriage program designed to re-establish marriages according to God’s design through teaching, activation, and transformation.