Codependency Alchemy: The Podcast

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com

Do you ever feel like you just need to know what’s going to happen before you can finally feel okay?
Maybe you're waiting to know if they'll come back, how much space they need, whether you made the right decision, or what happens next.
In this members-only Shadow Work + Inner Child Healing practice, we turn toward the part of you that feels unsafe in the unknown and explore what's underneath the need for certainty.
Bring a journal and something you're currently trying to figure out. This isn't an episode to simply listen to. It's a practice to move through with me.
🔒 Available exclusively to paid subscribers of Codependency Alchemy → Click here to learn more and subscribe
Join the membership to access the full guided practice, monthly AMAs, community support, and the entire members-only replay library.

Have you ever had a stressful week and suddenly everything your partner does starts getting on your nerves?
In this episode, I’m sharing one of the hardest weeks Justin and I have had in a long time and the two shifts that helped us stop treating each other like the enemy and start acting like teammates again.
We talk about stress, unmet needs, changing plans, self-abandonment, and how curiosity, compassion, and meeting your own needs can completely change the way you move through hard moments together.
Your invitation…
In the comments, write your responses to these questions. You don’t have to post, unless you’re open to being witnessed in them. But at least write them out for yourself…
What am I hoping to get from others that I’m not giving to myself?
And then:
What is one thing I can do today to begin giving that to myself?
If you want support practicing this in real time, the Codependency Alchemy membership is where we go deeper through live Shadow Work + Inner Child Healing sessions, monthly AMAs, community support, and our full library of guided practices that will help you learn how to build safe and secure relationships.


This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

Have you ever chased connection until you felt rejected one too many times... and then suddenly found yourself pulling away?
In this episode, we’re exploring the push-pull pattern that happens when our attempts to feel safe accidentally keep the cycle going. I’m sharing how I learned to use distance to get connection, why we can move between chasing and withdrawing, and the question that helped me understand why the same relationship dynamics kept showing up in my life.
If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do I keep ending up in relationships like this?” this episode will give you a different question to ask.
This episode is for you if...
* You keep finding yourself in anxious/avoidant or push-pull relationships
* You chase connection until you feel rejected, then suddenly shut down
* You judge yourself for how you’ve behaved in past relationships
* You keep wondering why the same relationship dynamic follows you
Your invitation…
Instead of asking, “Why do I keep ending up in relationships like this?” try asking yourself:
“What is the lesson I’m being invited to learn when I find myself in this relationship dynamic?”
Actually write the answer down, and if you feel open to sharing, leave it in the comments.
Maybe this relationship isn’t proof that something is wrong with you. Maybe it’s illuminating something you’re finally ready to see.
And if you want to go beyond understanding the push-pull pattern and actually tend to the part of you living inside of it, last week’s members-only episode is a guided Shadow Work + Inner Child Healing practice specifically for this dynamic.
Click here to learn more and join our growing Codependency Alchemy community on Substack


This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

Have you ever had one of those days where you just don't feel like yourself?
Maybe you're more emotional, more sensitive, or more irritable than usual, and your first instinct is to wonder what's wrong with you.
In this episode, I'm sharing the simple practice that completely changed my relationship with myself. It helped me stop judging my emotions, recognize my patterns, and communicate my needs with more compassion in my relationship.
We'll talk about why understanding your body can be one of the greatest tools for emotional healing, how this practice has transformed my relationship with Justin, and why slowing down is sometimes exactly what your nervous system is asking for.
If you've ever felt like you're constantly trying to "fix" yourself, this episode is for you.
Your invitation…
If you know what day you are on, share it in the comments, along with anything you notice about how you feel today.
Mentioned in this episode…
* Taking Charge of Your Fertility (here are their free downloadable PDFs)
* Lively cycle tracking app
* What I have learned since tracking my cycle
If you’d like to go beyond understanding your patterns and actually practice healing them, inside the Codependency Alchemy Membership we come together each month for guided shadow work, inner child healing sessions, live AMAs, and a private community where you don’t have to navigate this work alone.
Click here to learn more and join our growing Codependency Alchemy community on Substack


This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

Have you ever felt jealous in your relationship... even though you genuinely trust your partner? In this episode, I’m sharing one of the most vulnerable stories I’ve told on the podcast.
A moment with Justin that brought up unexpected jealousy, led to one of the biggest ruptures we’ve experienced, and ultimately taught me that jealousy is rarely about what we think it’s about.
Together, we’ll explore what jealousy is actually pointing toward, why it often has very little to do with your partner, and how asking one simple question can help you move from reactivity to self-understanding.
In this episode, you’ll learn…
* The hidden fears that commonly live underneath jealousy
* How insecure attachment can shape conflict and repair
* The mistake I made when trying to repair too soon
* A shadow work question to help you understand what’s really happening beneath the trigger
This episode is for you if...
* You find yourself overthinking interactions between your partner and other people.
* Jealousy quickly turns into anxiety, anger, or self-doubt.
* You want to respond to triggers with more curiosity instead of shame.
Your invitation…
In the comments, share your reflections to this shadow work prompt:
When you felt jealous, what were you actually afraid would happen?
Then notice what lives underneath that answer. Jealousy isn’t asking to be judged, it’s asking to be understood.
You can read my original post from when this event happened here: "I don't want to be with you anymore"
If you’d like to go beyond understanding your patterns and actually practice healing them, inside the Codependency Alchemy Membership we come together each month for guided shadow work, inner child healing sessions, live AMAs, and a private community where you don’t have to navigate this work alone.
Click here to learn more and join our growing Codependency Alchemy community on Substack


This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe