Codependency Alchemy: The Podcast

Should you get back together with your ex, or is this just familiarity pulling you back in? Before you say yes, there are a few questions worth slowing down and asking.
This episode is for anyone who’s considering getting back together with an ex and wants to do it differently this time.
As someone who did get back together with her ex and rebuilt a relationship rooted in repair, accountability, and understanding that a safe nervous system is a non-negotiable, I share the three core questions that helped me discern whether reconnecting was actually aligned, or just old patterns resurfacing.
This isn’t about convincing yourself to try again. It’s about slowing down, listening to your body, and making space for clarity instead of urgency.
What you’ll learn…
* The first question to ask before considering getting back together with an ex
* How to tell if your ex has actually changed or is just saying the right things
* Why old issues will come back (and how to plan for that honestly)
* What it means to rebuild trust through repair instead of avoidance
* How to stop over-functioning and let the other person meet you
This episode is for you if…
* You’re thinking about getting back together with an ex
* You’re afraid of repeating the same patterns
* You want clarity without rushing a decision
* You tend to over-function or take responsibility for both people
* You want a relationship rooted in repair, not chemistry alone
My invitation to you…
Take a moment to reflect on what this relationship is here to teach and show you. Write in the comments:
“This relationship is here to teach me…” and notice what comes through.
If this episode resonates, you’re invited to continue this work inside the Codependency Alchemy membership, where we practice self-trust, repair, and building healthy relationships together.
Click here to learn more.


This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

What if nothing is wrong with you, you’re just being asked to hold two truths at the same time?
In this episode of Codependency Alchemy, I explore polarity: the embodied experience of holding joy and grief, love and loss, fulfillment and longing—without collapsing, numbing, or forcing resolution.
Through a deeply personal story involving my great-grandmother, my fertility journey, and stepping onto a stage to share my life’s work, I share what polarity actually feels like in the body, and why learning to witness it instead of fixing it is profoundly healing.

What you’ll learn in this episode…
* What “holding polarity” really means (beyond the concept)
* How polarity shows up in relationships, grief, and identity
* The difference between thinking your feelings and witnessing them
* How witnessing yourself helps heal the mother wound
* Why acceptance isn’t giving up… it’s embodied truth

This episode is for you if…
* You feel emotionally overwhelmed by mixed feelings
* You’re holding joy and grief at the same time
* You struggle with overthinking instead of feeling
* You’re healing codependency, attachment wounds, or the mother wound
* You want to feel more grounded and self-trusting in uncertainty

Your invitation…
As you listen, consider: What polarity am I being asked to hold right now?
Name the two opposing experiences without judging them. I invite you to share your reflections in the comments.
Join the Community
If this episode resonates, you’re invited to join the Codependency Alchemy membership— a space where we practice witnessing the parts of us we neglect, or reject, building safety in our bodies through nervous system and somatic work, and generational healing together.
Click here to join or learn more


This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

Check out full book list post on Substack here: My go-to healing book list for winter
Thank you so much, everyone, for letting me walk alongside you this season.
I have a quick favor to ask as we close out this season: If the podcast has supported you in any way it would mean the world to me if you would take just a moment to leave an honest rating or review on the podcast, wherever you listen. To make it easy, I’ll leave the link for you to leave a rating or a review below!
When you rate and review the podcast it helps more people find the podcast who are looking to join and have these kinds of conversations around healing codependency and the mother wound. Your voice makes a huge impact, and I am so grateful to receive your support. Thank you.
I hope you all have a restful and nourishing winter, and hopefully I’ll see you in the Codependency Alchemy membership!
JOIN THE MEMBERSHIP


This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

Do you ever notice how one small trigger can send you into a full-blown spiral? Maybe your partner takes too long to text back, or a conflict makes you think the relationship is doomed and suddenly you’re catastrophizing, overthinking, or blaming yourself. In this episode of Codependency Alchemy, I walk you through my 3-step “Stop the Spiral” framework (Root, Regulate, Redirect) to help you come back to your body when your nervous system gets hijacked. We’ll explore common thought spirals like fear of abandonment, self-blame, and overthinking, and I’ll share how to re-center with compassion instead of control.
This episode is for you if:
* You find yourself stuck in anxious or intrusive thought loops.
* You panic when there’s space or silence in your relationship.
* You replay conversations, wondering if you said the “wrong thing.”
* You want to feel calm and grounded instead of consumed by fear.
I know now that spiraling is actually just my body asking for safety. When you pause to root into what’s actually happening, regulate your nervous system, and redirect your energy back to yourself, you stop trying to fix the fear and start learning from it.
🌟 Special Podcast Listener Offer: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and get 40% off!→ Click here to claim your discount and join now!
💬 Get Community Support: Join our vibrant, supportive chat community and get real-time guidance on your healing journey. → Join the chat
✨ Free Shadow Work & Inner Child Guide: Ready to deepen your healing with a step-by-step guide?→ Download my FREE guide
🎥 Watch 9+ Powerful Masterclasses: Access practical tools, guided exercises, and transformative teachings to help you heal codependency and build healthier relationships. → Exclusive Masterclass Library
✍🏾 From My Journal: Intimate insights and reflections directly from my personal healing journey.→ Read my latest journal entries
💎 Explore “The Gems”: Browse curated free resources filled with practical wisdom and actionable insights designed to support your growth and healing. → Get your free resources here


This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

Do you ever feel like it’s your job to make your partner (or kids, or parents) feel better when they’re upset? In this episode of Codependency Alchemy, we explore the codependent pattern of taking responsibility for someone else’s emotions and how it leaves you feeling resentful, anxious, and disconnected from yourself. I share how to shift from fixing their discomfort to creating safety within yourself, and we practice a real-time shadow work and somatic inner child exercise to help you break the cycle.
This episode is for you if:
* You immediately spring into action when your partner seems grumpy.
* You believe making them feel better will give you peace or safety.
* You feel resentful after trying to “fix” their mood.
* You’re ready to learn tools that help you meet your discomfort instead of abandoning yourself.
The real invitation is to ask yourself: is your partner asking you to fix their mood? The belief that “if I make them better, I’ll feel safe” is an old survival strategy, and we can appreciate how it supported you at one point in time but it doesn’t actually work in your adult relationships. In fact, it often leaves you more anxious, frustrated, or resentful. The real alchemy happens when you take all the energy you’d spend on fixing them and pour it into caring for yourself.
🌟 Special Podcast Listener Offer: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and get 40% off!→ Click here to claim your discount and join now!
💬 Get Community Support: Join our vibrant, supportive chat community and get real-time guidance on your healing journey. → Join the chat
✨ Free Shadow Work & Inner Child Guide: Ready to deepen your healing with a step-by-step guide?→ Download my FREE guide
🎥 Watch 9+ Powerful Masterclasses: Access practical tools, guided exercises, and transformative teachings to help you heal codependency and build healthier relationships. → Exclusive Masterclass Library
✍🏾 From My Journal: Intimate insights and reflections directly from my personal healing journey.→ Read my latest journal entries
💎 Explore "The Gems": Browse curated free resources filled with practical wisdom and actionable insights designed to support your growth and healing. → Get your free resources here


This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe