Codependency Alchemy: The Podcast

Have you ever looked back at the way you acted in a relationship and thought… oh my god, was I the toxic one?
In this throwback episode, I’m sharing one of the most vulnerable stories I’ve ever told on the podcast: the situationship that exposed some of my deepest patterns around anxious attachment, codependency, overgiving, fear of abandonment, and trying to control connection.
We’re talking about what happened when someone else’s attention became responsible for how I felt about myself, the things I thought were “love” that were actually being driven by anxiety, and how this relationship ultimately became one of the greatest mirrors of my life.
Click here to learn more or join our Codependency Alchemy community on Substack.


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What do you do when you can't tell if you're being triggered... or if something actually isn't working for you?
In this members-only AMA, we're talking about unmet needs, resentment, boundaries during conflict, being misunderstood after a breakup, grief + relief, fear of being alone, family estrangement, and learning to trust yourself when you desperately want someone else to tell you what the “right” answer is.
Plus, I share the very recent moment I caught myself feeling annoyed AF at Justin for not helping me... before realizing I hadn't actually asked him for help. 😅
🔒 This episode is exclusively for paid Codependency Alchemy members. Unlock this post and more when you upgrade your subscription.

Are you really good at taking care of everyone else... but wildly uncomfortable when someone tries to take care of you?
In this episode, I'm sharing what happened when Justin told me, “I'm going to take care of you,” and instead of simply feeling loved, it brought up fears around dependence, losing my freedom, being a burden, and eventually being resented.
We talk about hyper-independence, overfunctioning, the need to be needed, and what it can look like to stop carrying everything yourself and let the people who love you actually support you.
This episode is for you if…
* You’re the person everyone describes as strong.
* You rarely ask for help because you can probably just do it yourself.
* You deeply want to feel supported in your relationships but notice yourself becoming uncomfortable when someone actually steps in.
* You worry about being needy, dependent, or a burden.
Or you’ve ever thought: If I need too much from someone, eventually they might resent me for it.
Your invitation…
Take a moment to write the following shadow work prompt in the comments:
“If I let someone take care of me, then…” (what am I afraid will happen?)
Notice what comes to mind, and write it out. And if you want to go another layer deeper:
If that happened, what would I make it mean about me?
You don’t have to share what you write if you don’t want to, but I would love for you to at least give yourself the opportunity to witness what’s there by writing it for yourself.
If you want support practicing this in real time, the Codependency Alchemy membership is where we go deeper through live Shadow Work + Inner Child Healing sessions, monthly AMAs, community support, and our full library of guided practices that will help you learn how to build safe and secure relationships.
→ Click here to learn more and subscribe on Substack


This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com

Do you ever feel like you just need to know what’s going to happen before you can finally feel okay?
Maybe you're waiting to know if they'll come back, how much space they need, whether you made the right decision, or what happens next.
In this members-only Shadow Work + Inner Child Healing practice, we turn toward the part of you that feels unsafe in the unknown and explore what's underneath the need for certainty.
Bring a journal and something you're currently trying to figure out. This isn't an episode to simply listen to. It's a practice to move through with me.
🔒 Available exclusively to paid subscribers of Codependency Alchemy → Click here to learn more and subscribe
Join the membership to access the full guided practice, monthly AMAs, community support, and the entire members-only replay library.

Have you ever had a stressful week and suddenly everything your partner does starts getting on your nerves?
In this episode, I’m sharing one of the hardest weeks Justin and I have had in a long time and the two shifts that helped us stop treating each other like the enemy and start acting like teammates again.
We talk about stress, unmet needs, changing plans, self-abandonment, and how curiosity, compassion, and meeting your own needs can completely change the way you move through hard moments together.
Your invitation…
In the comments, write your responses to these questions. You don’t have to post, unless you’re open to being witnessed in them. But at least write them out for yourself…
What am I hoping to get from others that I’m not giving to myself?
And then:
What is one thing I can do today to begin giving that to myself?
If you want support practicing this in real time, the Codependency Alchemy membership is where we go deeper through live Shadow Work + Inner Child Healing sessions, monthly AMAs, community support, and our full library of guided practices that will help you learn how to build safe and secure relationships.


This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe