Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

Why has the person who claimed to love you gone years without once saying your name — not even once?

When a narcissist won't say your name, it isn't a quirk. It's name erasure: a slow, deliberate way of treating you as less than a full person.

In this Viewers' Stories episode, Dr. Kerry reads real survivor stories and unpacks four ways the same tactic shows up. Each one is a covert control tactic, and together they're a form of withholding affection most survivors don't recognize as emotional abuse until much later. You'll learn how to read what someone's use of your name reveals about how they actually see you, and why these small omissions add up to something far bigger than rudeness.

Key Moments

00:00:00 — The Husband Who Never Said Her Name

00:01:19 — When "Gorgeous" Was a Quiet Cruelty

00:03:11 — The Trap Hidden Inside "Babe" and "Honey"

00:04:08 — Hearing Your Name Until the Room Goes Foggy

00:05:09 — Mispronounced on Purpose, Again and Again

00:05:51 — What the Sound of Your Name Reveals

Resources

ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources

First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course

Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Dr. Kerry!

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Instagram

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Facebook

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What if the sweet pet name your partner calls you isn't affection at all — but rather designed to keep you off balance?

In this episode, Dr. Kerry and co-host Lynn Strathdee unpack one of the strangest and most overlooked patterns in narcissistic relationships: the use of pet names.

Learn why some narcissists even speak about themselves in the third person, and the chilling moment when a "compliment" reveals exactly what they really think of you.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment

Want to go deeper?

What does it actually take to heal when the abuse has shaped how you see yourself? In this members-only bonus, Lynn and Dr. Kerry discuss why recovery requires building a stronger sense of self.

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change.

WEBSITE

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources

First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course

Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Dr. Kerry!

Youtube

Instagram

TikTok

Facebook

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Were you brainwashed to stay — and didn't even know it?

A cult doesn't need a compound, robes, or a manifesto. All it needs is two people: one who sets the rules and one who lives by them.

Dr. Kerry reads your most powerful wake-up moments — from the woman who recognized every cult trait laid down in the first three months of a nine-year relationship, to the viewer who grew up in a home where productivity meant safety, to the one who finally had a word for what she'd survived: brainwashed.

This isn't about missing the signs. It's about a system that was designed to make coercive control feel like love, devotion, and belonging. Have you been struggling to leave? Stop asking why you didn't see it sooner. Start asking if you were trained not to.

Want Dr. Kerry to read your story on air?

Email your question to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources

First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course

Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Dr. Kerry!

Youtube

Instagram

TikTok

Facebook

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Were you born into a cult — or did you unknowingly marry one?

If you've ever felt trapped, controlled, and unable to trust your own reality — whether in a religion, a family system, or a relationship — you may have been living inside a cult of two.

Narcissistic abuse operates through the same coercive control and psychological manipulation that keep cult members from ever questioning their reality.

Brooke Deanne, trauma healing mentor and author of Shattered, Broken and Beautiful, joins Dr. Kerry to share her remarkable survivor's story: 36 years inside a high-control religious cult, followed by 17 years married to a narcissist. Discover the chilling similarities between coercive control in relationships and cult indoctrination that make narcissistic abuse so hard to name.

Coercive control doesn't always look like abuse — sometimes it looks like devotion, duty, and belonging.

PODCAST EXTRA — EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

If you've been in a narcissistic relationship, how do you finally release the shame? In this members-only bonus, discover Brooke Deanna’s full healing steps.

BROOKE DEANNE is a Trauma Healing Mentor, Rapid Transformational Therapist (RTT), and NLP Practitioner empowering female survivors of abuse and trauma to reclaim their lives by rewriting their stories via a holistic approach to access new levels of mind, body, and spirit integration. After overcoming her history of abuse as an ex-Jehovah’s Witness and toxic relationships, Brooke brings profound insight to her work as an advocate against religious abuse and domestic violence.

Website

Books: Shattered, Broken, & Beautiful - Losing My Religion and Finding Faith

Children’s Book: The Grief Monster

Podcast: The Cult Diaries

Submit your question to be answered on air here!
Resources

ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources

First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course

Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Dr. Kerry!

Youtube

Instagram

TikTok

Facebook

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Why can you spot every red flag, name every tactic, and still find yourself in another toxic relationship?

A commenter recently wrote that she had been raised by three narcissists, married to one, dated another for five years, recently lost a friendship to one, and a former partner just resurfaced. She wrapped up by saying “the law of averages can't explain it. So what can?”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks why insight alone never sets survivors free.

Submit Your Question

If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link.

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources

First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course

Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Dr. Kerry!

Youtube

Instagram

TikTok

Facebook

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.