Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

Can a psychopath be a good person? And how do we spot dangerous people when they seem so charming? This holiday special brings you an in-depth answer to one of your most-asked questions with highlights from Dr. Kerry's interview with Tara Blair Ball about the Dark Triad Personality.  We explore why dangerous people don't look scary, how we underestimate predatory behavior through "positive projection," and the critical difference between niceness and kindness—especially important to remember during the holiday season. CHAPTERS0:38 Can Psychopaths Live Morally?7:09 Narcissism, Psychopathy & Machiavellianism Explained10:09 Why We're Attracted to Arrogance & Confidence13:04 The Stages of Moral Development17:45 The Mask of Sanity: Nice Doesn't Mean Good22:48 The Light Triad: The Opposite of Dark PersonalitiesPODCAST EXTRA This week, there is no exclusive Podcast Extra interview. Instead, we're offering this special holiday edition to ALL Substack subscribers as our gift to you!  This is the perfect time to join our community. SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT All Substack paid subscribers now receive immediate access to the Toxic-Free Relationship Club, which includes: -Invitation to the monthly Q&A with Dr. Kerry -Quarterly club-wide events featuring narcissistic abuse experts -Weekly newsletter with exclusive insights Find the Substack newsletter and join the community here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse 👉 Get immediate access and join a supportive community dedicated to healing and recovery: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuseStay in Touch With Dr. Kerry!YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. KerryKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project. In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media.Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below!Support the showDisclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

"How do I know if I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship?" asks a YouTube listener. In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why even asking this question is an important sign of possible trouble. Dr Kerry will outline what emotional abuse actually looks like (hint: it's not about one-off incidents—it's about patterns) and why you might feel like you're shrinking or walking on eggshells.  Abusive relationships turn people into functional objects instead of letting them shine as a fully autonomous and complex person. Chapters0:00 Introduction: “How Do I Know I’m in an Abusive Relationship?”1:59 Signs You Can't Be Your Full Self6:09 When Adults Refuse to Learn Life Skills8:38 Red Flags: Questioning Your RealitySubmit Your Question If you'd like your question addressed on air, send it here: 👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mailStay in Touch With Dr. Kerry!YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. KerryKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project. In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media.Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below!Support the showDisclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Ever felt like you're the problem in your family—even when you're the one being hurt?This week, Ágatha Peters joins Dr. Kerry to explore how cultural expectations and family loyalty create the perfect conditions for narcissistic abuse to thrive undetected. We discuss why narcissism often goes unnamed in non-Western cultures, how the scapegoat role becomes nearly impossible to escape when the entire community reinforces it, and why leaving isn't just about one relationship—it's about losing your entire world. CHAPTERS0:00 The Struggles of Leaving a Toxic Relationship with Agatha Peters3:21 Cultural Perspectives on Narcissism7:32 Impact of Family and Culture on the Development of Self10:30 Narcissism as a Global Problem15:28 Navigating Abuse in a Foreign Country18:34 When You're Abused in Foreign Country23:45 Understanding the Role of the ScapegoatPODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW 🔹 Stuck as the family scapegoat? Wondering how to survive when you can't leave? Ágatha reveals the psychological strategies that help you endure when escape isn't an option, why you can't change your role in a narcissistic family system, and how to build your own community within a community that's failed you. 👉 Get immediate access to this extended interviewMORE ABOUT ÁGATHA PETERS Website: beautifulsunshinetherapy.com  Instagram & TikTok: @beautifulsunshinetherapyBook: Trapped in Their Script: Reclaim Your Life from Narcissistic Abuse and Cultural Expectations ÁGATHA PETERS is a licensed therapist specializing in narcissistic abuse recovery within multicultural contexts. Drawing from both her clinical expertise and personal experience navigating cultural expectations, Ágatha helps clients understand how family loyalty, collectivist values, and cultural identity intersect with narcissistic dynamics—making abuse harder to name, harder to prove, and nearly impossible to escape without losing everything.Stay in Touch With Dr. Kerry!YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. KerryKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project. In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media.Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below!Support the showDisclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

You dodged a bullet!" No—the bullet hit me. I just survived.This week's Fan Mail question comes from a YouTube listener who writes: "People tell me I dodged a bullet. But the bullet hit me—I just survived. I feel like it turned me into a monster. The PTSD caused me to start reacting more strongly to smaller triggers and even did abusive things myself in what I felt was self-defense."In this episode, Dr. Kerry addresses why "you dodged a bullet" feels so wrong, what survivor's guilt really is, why up to 75% of narcissistic abuse survivors develop PTSD, and how to make peace with the protective parts of yourself that helped you survive—without exiling them. Submit Your Question If you'd like your question addressed on air, send it here: 👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mailStay in Touch With Dr. Kerry!YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. KerryKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project. In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media.Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below!Support the showDisclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Is narcissism caused by genetics or trauma? Ever heard “narcissists act that way because of bad parenting" or “because they’ve experienced trauma?” This week, Dr. Peter Salerno returns to challenge everything you thought you knew about the cause of narcissistic personality disorder. We're diving into the controversial science of heritability. Why genetics matters more than psychology has been willing to admit, what it means for treatment and recovery, and why this conversation has been intentionally swept under the rug for decades. PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENTFind the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuseMORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW 🔹 Stuck in cognitive dissonance? Are you struggling with the decision to leave and wondering why you can’t? Dr. Salerno reveals why waiting for certainty keeps you trapped, how to make the hardest decision of your life without knowing if it's "right," and why almost no one regrets leaving once they do.  👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuseMORE ABOUT DR. PETER SALERNOInstagram: @DrPeterSalernoYouTube: Dr. Peter SalernoWebsite: drpetersalerno.comBooks: The Nature and Nurture of Narcissism: Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder from the Perspective of Gene - Environment Interaction - https://amzn.to/3X0athZ Traumatic Cognitive Dissonance: Healing from an Abusive Relationship with a Disordered Personality - https://amzn.to/4o8yqif 'Cruelty by Nature: The Science of Intentional Abuse - https://amzn.to/3M9k1VtDR. PETER SALERNO is a retired clinical psychologist with an expert understanding of personality pathology, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the genetic components of personality disorders. Stay in Touch With Dr. Kerry!YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. KerryKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project. In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media.Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below!Support the showDisclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.