Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

Abuse is something we imagine happens behind closed doors. For a lot of survivors, some of the most frightening moments happened not just in the home but in the passenger seat of a moving car.

In this Viewers' Stories episode, Dr. Kerry pulls directly from your comments and unpacks what each one reveals about how narcissists weaponize the car.

It was never about losing the narcissist losing their temper. It was about control. And if you've ever braced yourself just getting into the car with someone, you weren't imagining it.

This is the Thursday companion to Monday's episode with co-host Lynn Strathdee, "Road Rage & Other Terrifying Ways Narcissists Use Cars to Intimidate You."

To go deeper into what to actually do when you can't leave yet, be sure to check out the members-only Podcast Extra covers exactly that. Here's the link.

Have a story of your own? Share by contacting Dr. Kerry at clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com.

Key Moments

0:00 The Terrifying Reality of a Weaponized Car

0:33 A Captivity That Moves 70 Miles Per Hour

1:13 She Went Deaf From His Road Rage

2:39 Escaping the Car at Every Red Light

3:18 When My Husband's Driving Became a Weapon

4:23 Why So Many of Us Stay for Years

5:11 How Anything Becomes an Excuse to Erupt

6:06 He Chased a Stranger While I Couldn't Breathe

6:53 They're Not Losing Control, They're Taking It

7:31 Why Your Body Still Braces Behind the Wheel

7:54 Reclaiming Your Autonomy on the Road

8:24 Share Your Own Survival Story

8:57 Real Help in Real Time With Reclaim You

Resources

ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources

First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course

Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Dr. Kerry!

Youtube

Instagram

TikTok

Facebook

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

If you've ridden in a car with a narcissist, then you've likely experienced them using their driving to intimidate, threaten, or scare you. People with narcissistic traits often use vehicles like a weapon, turning you into more of a hostage instead of a passenger.

This week, Dr. Kerry and co-host Lynn break down why road rage and narcissism frequently co-occur and how the car gets used for far more than just driving, i

If you've survived narcissistic abuse, want to watch the part we couldn't fit into the main episode? Become a paid Substack subscriber and learn:

What to actually do if you're experiencing narcissistic abuse but you can't leave yet

Why "how do I make them stop?" is the wrong first question,

Why grey rock can backfire behind the wheel

And the dangerous assumption nearly every survivor makes about their own safety.

Become a paid subscriber here and unlock your access today!
Tune in this upcoming Thursday for Viewers' Stories where we'll share your road-rage stories.

LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change.

Website

Key Moments

00:00 — Cars as devices for control nobody suspects

05:00 — The car as a metaphor for the self

08:06 — What their car says to the world

11:39 — The mattress on the floor: the car as a mask

14:23 — When something this ordinary makes you doubt yourself

17:49 — The parking-garage asthma attack 21:48 — His reality wins, no matter the danger

26:18 — Gender, cars, and the "little lady" hierarchy

29:12 — What to do if this is happening to you (→ Podcast Extra)

Dr. Kerry's Resources

ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources

First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course

Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Dr. Kerry!

Youtube

Instagram

TikTok

Facebook

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

#narcissisticabuse #toxicrelationships #roadrage #narcissists

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Narcissistic abuse doesn't just affect your mind — it gets stored in the mind-body connection.

Do you have the kind of chronic pain no doctor can explain? Does it get worse the harder you try to fix it? Are you bracing, clenching, and shutting down without knowing what's wrong?

In this episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks how narcissistic abuse gets stored in the body, not just the mind. Want to learn more about healing from narcissistic abuse, check out Monday’s episode with Liz Tenuto, The Workout Witch. Watch it here: https://youtu.be/gM9h4GjITpc?si=BxsgI-eUXsrZzTuA

Have a story or realization you'd like Dr. Kerry to take on air? Send it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com.

When you become a paid Substack subscriber, you also join the Toxic-Free Relationship Club — our exclusive community for serious survivors.

As a paid subscriber you also get:

Weekly premium newsletter

Bonus podcast segments not available anywhere else

Exclusive members-only videos

Join here: http://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse
Key Moments

00:00 — "I knew before I knew"

00:53 — The words you use for toxic love ("I bent over backwards")

01:39 — Why your body keeps the receipts (Monday's Liz Tenuto)

02:05 — "I emptied myself out" — loving an emotional black hole

03:05 — Not codependency: the alarm that fires before logic

03:41 — "He told me exactly what he expected from me"

04:17 — My story: love-bombed and quietly terrified

04:46 — The PI, the missing records, and the wedding bombshell

05:26 — Why we silence the body's warning

06:21 — Three truths to take with you

07:59 — Your body is on your side

08:23 — Share your story + Reclaim You

Dr. Kerry's Resources

ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources

First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course

Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Dr. Kerry!

Youtube

Instagram

TikTok

Facebook

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What if the chronic pain, the exhaustion, and the sleepless nights aren’t because of stress, or you’re getting older, but because your body keeping the score of narcissistic abuse?

In this episode, Dr. Kerry sits down with somatic healing expert Liz Tenuto, as known The Workout Witch, to explored one of the most overlooked truths: abuse doesn't just impact your mind; it affects your body.

Learn why survivors get trapped in a constant state of fight-or-flight and the surprising reason that talk therapy and EMDR alone often aren't enough to finally heal.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

Ready to go deeper?

Think the abuse never touched you physically? Find out the truth.

In this members-only bonus, Liz walks Dr. Kerry through a simple body self-assessment to learn if you’re storing trauma. Learn the early warning signs before they turn chronic.

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

LIZ TENUTO (known to her millions of followers as The Workout Witch) demystifies somatic healing and offers a compassionate, science-backed roadmap for anyone struggling with the physical aftermath of stress and trauma. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and an abusive marriage, Liz spent years battling chronic pain, anxiety, and insomnia. She cycled through countless healing trends before discovering the life- changing power of somatics. Today, Liz is a trauma informed practitioner with a degree in psychology, 15 years of teaching experience, and advanced training in somatic movement through Pilates, Reiki, and 6 years of Feldenkrais mentorship with Augusta Moore.

Website

Book: When the Body Speaks: How Somatic Healing Sets You Free

Key Moments

00:00 Like a paper doll, flat and dead

01:00 Meet Liz Tenuto, the Workout Witch

02:40 When foot pain feels like walking on glass

04:23 Why your body never leaves fight or flight

05:59 How chronic stress dominoes into disease

08:47 The angry father and the trauma beneath the pain

10:22 Unexplained pain your doctor can't explain

11:49 Stress weight and the shame no one talks about

13:56 What somatics actually is

14:36 The massage that unlocked a buried trauma

16:29 Why talk therapy alone isn't enough

19:21 What somatics felt like the first time

21:46 The small, perfect self you built to survive

24:07 Why chasing your step count backfires

26:30 Fight, flight, freeze, and the Goldilocks state

28:44 Five minutes a day to rewire your nervous system

31:01 Are you armored up without knowing it? (→ Podcast Extra)

Dr. Kerry's Resources

ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources

First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course

Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Dr. Kerry!

Youtube

Instagram

TikTok

Facebook

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Why has the person who claimed to love you gone years without once saying your name — not even once?

When a narcissist won't say your name, it isn't a quirk. It's name erasure: a slow, deliberate way of treating you as less than a full person.

In this Viewers' Stories episode, Dr. Kerry reads real survivor stories and unpacks four ways the same tactic shows up. Each one is a covert control tactic, and together they're a form of withholding affection most survivors don't recognize as emotional abuse until much later. You'll learn how to read what someone's use of your name reveals about how they actually see you, and why these small omissions add up to something far bigger than rudeness.

Key Moments

00:00:00 — The Husband Who Never Said Her Name

00:01:19 — When "Gorgeous" Was a Quiet Cruelty

00:03:11 — The Trap Hidden Inside "Babe" and "Honey"

00:04:08 — Hearing Your Name Until the Room Goes Foggy

00:05:09 — Mispronounced on Purpose, Again and Again

00:05:51 — What the Sound of Your Name Reveals

Resources

ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app

The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources

First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course

Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support

Follow Dr. Kerry!

Youtube

Instagram

TikTok

Facebook

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.