The Virtual Couch

• The Self-Care Paradox: Why Putting Yourself First Isn't Selfish and Is “Healthy Narcissism” a Thing? Live QA w/Tony and Mackie Overbay

  What happens when you walk face-first into a wall at the movies? For therapist Tony Overbay, it led to a deep discussion about relationships, self-worth, and the challenges of being true to yourself in a world that often demands conformity. In this engaging episode of The Virtual Couch, Tony is joined by his daughter Mackie for their regular Sunday night Q&A session. After sharing a humorous story about his movie theater mishap (complete with butterfly stitches), they dive into profound conversations about relationships, mental health, and personal growth. The episode explores the concept of "normal" versus "pathological" narcissism, with Tony breaking down Eleanor Greenberg's research on how healthy ego differs from defensive narcissism. They discuss how true confidence comes from actual accomplishments rather than a fragile facade of superiority. A significant portion focuses on the challenges of maintaining authenticity in relationships, particularly when dealing with emotional immaturity. Tony explains how many people lose themselves trying to make others happy, and the importance of choosing self-care first - not as an act of selfishness, but as a necessary foundation for genuine connection. The father-daughter duo tackles numerous listener questions, covering topics like: - Setting healthy boundaries versus giving ultimatums - The impact of being a "scapegoat" in family dynamics - Dealing with betrayal trauma and infidelity - The struggles of highly sensitive people (HSP) - Navigating relationships with emotionally immature partners - The challenges of being authentically yourself in a society that often rewards conformity Throughout the episode, Tony emphasizes the importance of differentiation - developing a strong but flexible sense of self while maintaining connections with others. He provides practical advice for listeners struggling with various relationship challenges, including resources for finding affordable therapy and support groups for those dealing with emotionally immature partners. The conversation weaves together clinical insights with personal experiences, creating an authentic and relatable dialogue that helps listeners understand they're not alone in their struggles. Tony and Mackie's natural rapport adds warmth and accessibility to complex therapeutic concepts, making them more digestible for a general audience. 00:00 Introduction and Setting the Scene 01:06 Super Bowl and Halftime Show Reactions 02:30 Movie Theater Mishap and Story Time 07:10 Relationship Dynamics and Self-Care 11:47 Understanding Narcissism and Healthy Ego 17:34 Questions from the Audience 41:14 Navigating the Online Dating World 41:50 The Struggle of Authenticity in Relationships 43:20 The Journey of Emotional Growth 47:22 Dealing with Narcissistic Relationships 53:54 The Importance of Setting Boundaries 01:11:12 Overcoming Trauma and Seeking Therapy 01:14:15 Confronting Relationship Challenges 01:19:59 Final Thoughts and Resources

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• Breaking Social Barriers: Enhancing Confidence with Autism Support - w/Karla Gragg and Sarah Bailey

  Tony welcomes sisters Sarah Bailey and Karla Cragg, who share a passion for enhancing the social lives of individuals with autism. They introduce their Breaking Social Barriers PEERS program, an evidence-based social skills training course designed specifically for young adults on the autism spectrum. Their program is based on UCLA’s acclaimed PEERS treatment model, the only research-backed method proven to help young adults with autism form and maintain meaningful friendships. Sarah and Karla provide an inside look at their curriculum, which offers practical strategies for entering, maintaining, and exiting conversations—along with other essential social skills that set individuals up for success. They emphasize the importance of honoring autistic individuals' authenticity while equipping them with the social tools they may need. The conversation also explores key topics such as the differences between autism and highly sensitive person (HSP) traits, the impact of diagnosis and labeling, and the increasing demand for targeted social skills training. Tune in to discover how Sarah and Karla’s approach is making a profound difference in the lives of autistic individuals—whether formally diagnosed or self-identified. Learn more about their evidence-based programs at BreakingSocialBarriers.com. 00:00 Welcome to the Virtual Couch 01:11 Diving into Autism Awareness 02:22 Carla's Journey into Autism Education 05:31 Introducing the Peers Program 08:27 Navigating Social Skills for Young Adults 12:44 Understanding Autism and Neurodiversity 20:43 Navigating Social Interactions with High Functioning Autism 21:27 Teaching the Art of Trading Information 23:30 The Importance of Evidence-Based Social Skills Programs 25:18 Addressing Loneliness and Social Isolation 26:24 Course Structure and Content 29:43 Role Playing and Practical Applications 35:56 Enhancing Authentic Social Interactions 38:29 Conclusion and Contact Information

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• The Evolutionary Superpower of Highly Sensitive People: How HSP Differs from Autism (and Does it Matter?)

  Have you ever been told you're 'too sensitive' or that you need to ‘get over it,’ or ‘don’t worry about it,’ but that only causes you to worry more, or feel less connected to others, or even yourself? Or have you been told that your sensitivity must mean you're on the autism spectrum? Or are you on the autisim spectrum and can you also identify with many of the characteristics of Highly Sensitive People? With over 2.2 million views and hundreds of comments on recent viral videos about Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), it's clear this topic strikes a nerve. Drawing from his experience working with both HSPs and individuals with ASD, Tony dives deep into why these distinct experiences are often confused - and why understanding the difference isn't just interesting, it's essential for creating a more empathetic world. Through viral video statistics, personal anecdotes, and real-world examples, he breaks down how HSPs (representing 15-20% of the population) and individuals with ASD navigate life differently. From sensory processing to social dynamics, discover why that deep emotional processing might actually be an evolutionary advantage rather than a disorder. Along the way, the discussion explores how ADHD and NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) intersect with these experiences. This episode provides crucial insights into recognizing, understanding, and supporting both HSPs and individuals with ASD. Whether questioning your own experiences or trying to better understand someone else's, listeners will find the clarity and validation they've been seeking. Perfect for anyone who's ever felt misunderstood about their sensitivity or confused about where they fit in the neurodiversity spectrum. Join Tony for an eye-opening discussion that might just change how you see yourself - or someone you love." 00:00 Welcome and Introduction 00:30 The Viral Video on Highly Sensitive People 01:04 Behind the Scenes: Social Media Stats 02:05 Addressing Misconceptions and Personal Insights 03:26 A Personal Anecdote: The Butterfly Bandage 04:12 Responding to Drive-By Comments 04:29 Understanding Highly Sensitive People (HSP) vs Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) 07:27 Story Time: Sarah and Michael's Interaction 18:57 The Evolutionary Purpose of High Sensitivity 21:39 Traits and Characteristics of Highly Sensitive People 29:17 Challenges Faced by Highly Sensitive People 33:59 The Importance of Curiosity and Understanding 35:30 Understanding Human Uniqueness 36:22 Fascinating Facts About Human Preferences 37:22 The Complexity of Sensitivity 39:20 Exploring Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) 40:49 Comparing HSP and ASD Sensory Experiences 54:50 Social Interactions: HSP vs. ASD 01:00:47 Nonverbal Communication Differences 01:04:26 Emotional Energy and Social Fatigue 01:08:05 Final Thoughts and Listener Engagement

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• Trisha Jamison, Host of the Q&A Files Podcast on Overcoming Emotional Immaturity for Better Relationships

  Have you ever tried selling a grand piano on Facebook Marketplace? Our latest episode of the Q&A Files kicks off with some personal tales of downsizing and the hilarious adventures that come with it. Join us as Trisha Jamison, a board-certified functional nutritionist, and Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist and seasoned podcaster from The Virtual Couch, and Waking Up To Narcissism, discuss these issues for Tony's podcast, The Virtual Couch. Trisha and Tony discuss emotional immaturity and narcissistic traits and offer a path to healthier relationships. We share our own journeys of growth and healing to show how. This episode delves into the challenges of navigating emotionally complex relationships and the power of validation. Whether dealing with resistance from a partner or unlocking the transformative potential of self-awareness, our candid discussions aim to provide fresh perspectives and practical strategies for listeners who might be walking similar paths. Join us next time as we discuss how to keep your relationships fresh by talking to a newlywed couple who are just as cute as can be! Follow the Q&A Files Podcast on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/1k2Oh4rY9VCp1tVeu14dxk?si=a39537613900475b Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-q-a-files/id1730736061 or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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• Anxious or Avoidant? Why Your Relationship Patterns Repeat & How to Change Them (Part 1)

  Are you tired of repeating the same relationship patterns? Whether it's constant worry about abandonment or a tendency to keep people at arm's length, these behaviors - known as attachment styles - aren't set in stone. In part one of this two-part series, therapist Tony Overbay examines the science of attachment theory, tracing its development from John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth's pioneering "Strange Situation" experiment to current research demonstrating how people can actually change their relationship patterns. Through clinical examples and accessible explanations, Tony breaks down how early experiences with caregivers create blueprints that influence adult relationships - and more importantly, why these patterns can evolve. Tony explains how understanding attachment style connects to emotional maturity and self-awareness. Listeners will learn about different attachment patterns, how they manifest in daily life, and why these early-developed patterns aren't a reflection of personal failure - they emerged before conscious choice was possible. This episode provides the foundation for a deeper exploration of attachment style change and relationship transformation. For anyone dealing with trust issues, abandonment fears, or struggles with emotional intimacy, the discussion offers concrete insights into becoming more secure in relationships. Part 2 will delve into specific strategies for building secure attachments and showing up differently in relationships. As Tony often says, "You're not broken, you're human" - and humans have a remarkable capacity for growth. 00:00 Welcome Back and New Beginnings 00:28 Understanding Narcissism and Emotional Maturity 02:05 Personal Struggles and Emotional Growth 04:40 Podcast Updates and Future Plans 06:59 Introduction to Attachment Theory 10:06 The Strange Situation Experiment 12:28 Attachment Styles and Their Impact 17:25 Early Childhood and Relationship Templates 21:04 Avoidant Attachment in Adulthood 22:07 The Painful Dance of Intimacy 23:52 The Role of Fathers in Attachment 24:37 Presence and Radiance: A Father's Influence 26:18 Emotional Safety and Consistency 29:31 Navigating Emotions and Independence 39:53 Challenges of Absent Fathers 44:12 Healing Attachment Wounds 44:33 Conclusion and Next Steps Find more from Tony Overbay: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@virtualcouch Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/virtual.couch/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft/ Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-virtual-couch/id1275153998 Website: https://www.tonyoverbay.com/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/virtualcouch To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

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