The Birth Lounge Podcast

Her bottom line, and it's a good one to tattoo somewhere: routine doesn't mean required. You're allowed to ask "cool, but do I need this?" even when the answer everyone gives you is "we just do this for everybody." Ready to walk into your birth already knowing exactly what's negotiable? Grab your spot in the free class: thebirthlounge.com/csection

Okay, real talk. Have you ever had a pregnancy dream so unhinged you woke up questioning your entire life? You dreamed your baby had teeth, or your ex showed up at your baby shower, or you were somehow giving birth in a Target and nobody seemed alarmed but you. HeHe has been there. This week she sits down with D'Lisa, aka D'Lisa Dream Doula, to finally get some answers, and honestly, this one goes places HeHe did not expect.

D'Lisa is a life coach and artist out of Southern California who has built her whole thing around teaching women to actually listen to their dreams instead of just laughing them off at brunch. She and HeHe get into the real science of REM sleep first (yes, there is actual science here, this is not just vibes), and then things get juicy: why some dreams are just your brain doing dishes from the day and others feel like they are trying to tell you something. HeHe, who has definitely had a recurring dream or twelve, was very invested in this part.

Then D'Lisa drops the story that makes this whole episode: she dreamed her daughter's name before she ever knew it, and later saw firemen in black shoes right before a lightning-fast home birth. To be clear, she is not out here promising your dreams are a crystal ball, but if you have ever had a dream that felt too specific to just be random, you are going to want to hear this. They also run through the greatest hits of dream themes, falling, being chased, running in place, the anxiety dream you have had a hundred times, plus what is actually going on with sleep paralysis and sleepwalking (spoiler, less scary than it sounds).

If a pregnancy nightmare has ever left you spiraling at 3am googling "does this dream mean something is wrong," this episode is your permission slip to stop panicking. D'Lisa explains why a scary dream is far more likely to be your brain processing something emotional than it is to be predicting the future, and she teaches lucid dreaming as an actual tool you can use to change or straight up exit a nightmare mid-dream. She wraps it up with her own dream journaling method so you can start actually remembering this stuff instead of losing it the second your alarm goes off.

Ready to simplify your supplements with a brand you can actually trust?
Check out Just Ingredients for clean protein, prenatals, electrolytes, and more, made with real, transparent ingredients.
Head to justingredients.us and use code TRANQUILITYBYHEHE to save 10% on your first order.

 

CHAPTERS

00:00 The Dream World Is Wilder Than You Think

01:15 Meet D'Lisa, Dream Doula

03:10 Why We Dream In The First Place

04:40 The Dream That Named Her Daughter

10:25 Consciousness And Different Dream Realms

14:43 How To Actually Remember (And Request) A Dream

17:59 Nightmares And The Spider Symbol

20:47 Why Recurring Dreams Keep Coming Back

28:17 The Anxiety Dreams Almost Everyone Has

29:30 Sleep Paralysis, Explained

30:23 Sleepwalking And Acting Out Dreams

30:55 Why Pregnancy Dreams Get So Intense

33:12 D'Lisa's Wildest Pregnancy Dream Story

35:39 Lucid Dreaming 101

40:46 Kids And Their Dreamlike Minds

42:29 Birth Memories And Past Lives

46:33 Hypnobirthing And Deja Vu

48:25 D'Lisa's Dream Journaling Method

51:03 What To Do With A Scary Pregnancy Dream

53:01 Where To Find D'Lisa

53:56 Final Thanks And Sign Off

 

GUEST BIO

D'Lisa is a life coach and artist living in Southern California. She teaches women how to tap into their intuition, analyze their own dreams, and manifest their best life using spiritual principles.

D'Lisa's website: https://coachingwithD.com

SOCIAL MEDIA

HeHe's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe

D'Lisa's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dlisadreamdoula

D'Lisa's website: https://coachingwithD.com

 

BIRTH EDUCATION RESOURCES

Join The Birth Lounge for judgment-free, evidence-based childbirth education from HeHe that shows you exactly how to navigate hospital policies, avoid unnecessary interventions, and have a trauma-free labor experience, all while feeling wildly supported every step of the way: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/

Want prep delivered straight to your phone? Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

"That's just our policy" is not the same thing as "that's medically necessary for you." Y'all asked for a "what would HeHe do" episode, so here it is: HeHe is climbing on her soapbox for a full opinion piece (data-backed, but let's be honest, also just HeHe having thoughts) about five things hospitals treat as automatic that she does not think should be automatic for everybody. The routine IV. Universal GBS antibiotics. The 39-week induction chat. Continuous fetal monitoring. And growth scans, which she calls, in her exact words, "a crock." Buckle up.
 
HeHe also announces the glow-up of her free class on avoiding an unnecessary C-section (yes, the "unnecessarean," she will not stop saying it and honestly neither will we), built from a decade of tips she says can cut your C-section risk by as much as 50%. Grab your spot here: thebirthlounge.com/csection
 
First up, the hep lock IV that gets placed on basically everyone whether or not anyone actually needs it. HeHe's not saying IVs are bad, she's saying "everyone gets one just in case" isn't the same as "you need one," and she wants you sorted into an actual risk category instead of a blanket policy. Next, GBS antibiotics: she's fully aware this is the take that loses her some listeners, but she walks through why testing positive weeks before birth doesn't mean you need antibiotics on autopilot, and hands you the exact tool (the Kaiser Permanente neonatal sepsis calculator) to run your own numbers instead of taking the hospital's word for it. On monitoring, she draws a hard line: intermittent auscultation should be the default for low-risk labor, continuous fetal monitoring is for when Pitocin, an epidural, or an actual risk factor is in the mix, not everyone strapped to a belly band the second they walk in. And growth scans get zero mercy. Her point: ultrasounds get less accurate the bigger and more "done cooking" your baby gets, mom's own gut guess on baby's size beats both the ultrasound and a provider's hands-on feel, and she thinks routine scans get used to talk women into interventions they never needed in the first place.
 
Her bottom line, and it's a good one to tattoo somewhere: routine doesn't mean required. You're allowed to ask "cool, but do I need this?" even when the answer everyone gives you is "we just do this for everybody." Ready to walk into your birth already knowing exactly what's negotiable? Grab your spot in the free class: thebirthlounge.com/csection
 
Ditch the moldy, anxiety-inducing coffee that's secretly stressing your adrenals. Purity Coffee is third-party tested, mold-free, USDA organic, regeneratively farmed, and sustainably sourced, good for you and the planet. Grab your cup at puritycoffee.com and use code HEHE to save.
 
SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/
 
00:00 Big Announcement
01:32 Free C-Section Class
02:52 Episode Setup
05:08 IVs In Labor
10:16 Rethinking GBS Antibiotics
15:26 39-Week Inductions
16:41 Purity Coffee
19:43 Fetal Monitoring Defaults
25:21 Growth Scans Debate
29:36 Routine Not Required
33:17 Final Wrap Up
 
LINKS MENTIONED:
Kaiser Permanente Neonatal Sepsis Calculator: http://neonatalsepsiscalculator.kaiserpermanente.org
 
RELATED EPISODES:
More on Continuous Fetal Monitoring (CFM): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7G7nnlQXYY

You can Google every symptom, join every group chat, and still feel like you have no idea who's actually going to show up when the baby comes. That's the tension HeHe digs into with Nina Spears, Founder of Baby Chick, in this one.
 
Building your registry while you're at it? Grab HeHe's free guide before you add another item to your cart: thebirthlounge.com/registry
 
Here's the thing: we have more pregnancy and parenting information available than any generation before us, and somehow it's made a lot of us feel more alone, not less. HeHe and Nina get into why the mental load starts the second that pregnancy test turns positive, why doomscrolling has quietly replaced actually calling someone, and how algorithms reward the loudest, most polarizing takes instead of the ones that would actually help you.
 
Nina doesn't just name the problem, she hands you an actual plan. She has every client build a postpartum plan alongside their birth plan, starting in the second trimester so the third trimester can be spent preparing for postpartum instead of scrambling. That plan includes naming three people you can call during the day and three you can text at night (she recommends starting a group text with other new moms in a similar stage), finding a local mom group like Fit4Mom or New Mom School, and hiring a doula, who often becomes the fastest way to find every other resource you need. She also introduces her book, The Baby Chick Guide to Positive Pregnancy, written week by week with cited, evidence-based info and specific tips for partners at each stage.
 
You don't need a bigger following. You need three people who will show up. This episode is your permission slip to go build that, before baby arrives, not after you're already drowning. Building your registry too? Grab the free Low-Tox Baby Registry Guide here: thebirthlounge.com/registry
 
Ready to simplify your supplements? Just Ingredients makes clean protein, prenatals, and electrolytes with real, transparent ingredients. Head to justingredients.us and use code TRANQUILITYBYHEHE to save 10% on your first order.
 
Guest Bio:
Nina Spears is the Founder & CEO of Baby Chick, author of The Baby Chick Guide to Positive Pregnancy, and a certified baby planner, birth doula, postpartum doula, childbirth educator, newborn care educator, infant massage instructor, and perinatal nutrition expert. Over the past 15 years, Nina has personally supported more than 800 families in person, thousands virtually, and attended over 350 births, helping parents navigate pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and the transition into parenthood with evidence-based guidance and compassionate support. Through Baby Chick, her educational platform, Chick Chat: The Baby Chick Podcast, online courses, coaching, and evidence-based resources, she has helped millions of parents make informed decisions and feel more prepared for pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and parenthood.
 
SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/
Connect with Nina Spears / Baby Chick:
Website: https://www.baby-chick.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebabychick/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/teambabychick/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@babychickofficial
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@babychick
 
00:00 The Village You Actually Need
01:04 Podcast Welcome and Registry
04:54 What We Missed Preparing
07:51 Meet Nina Spears
08:33 Scrolling and Overthinking
16:05 Finding Real Disconnect
18:09 Breaking Phone Habits
22:38 Algorithms and Consumerism
25:05 Rebuilding the Village
28:34 Postpartum Plan Blueprint
32:34 Local Groups and Doulas
35:19 Distance and Lost Community
39:49 Just Ingredients
42:24 Motherhood Goes Viral
43:44 Oversharing vs Awareness
45:21 Digital Village Illusion
50:02 Viral Fame and Misinformation
52:52 Lost Wisdom and Real Connection
57:28 Micro Habits to Reconnect
59:32 Grandparents Replaced by Google
01:01:11 AI Disrupts Parenting and Work
01:04:26 Tech, Data, and the Anxiety Spiral
01:09:50 Positive Pregnancy Book Breakdown
01:17:01 Where to Find Nina
01:18:22 Final Wrap and Call to Action
 
LINKS MENTIONED:
Nina's book, The Baby Chick Guide to Positive Pregnancy: https://www.baby-chick.com/

Ep. 482: 4 myths I keep hearing at Baby Showers
You know those baby shower conversations where everyone suddenly becomes a pregnancy expert? 😂 In this episode, HeHe breaks down some of the most common pregnancy and birth myths you’re likely to hear, from “you can’t eat sushi” to “your baby is going to be huge if you go past your due date” to the completely false idea that you can’t breastfeed after a C-section.

She gets into what the evidence actually says about pregnancy-safe sushi and fish, why your due date is an estimate rather than an expiration date, what can help with those miserable pregnancy nights, and why misinformation can have a much bigger impact on your birth experience than you realize. HeHe also talks about informed consent, unnecessary interventions, and why understanding your options before you’re in the hospital is one of the best ways to stay in control.

Basically, this is your reminder to take baby shower advice with a grain of salt and get your birth information from somewhere a little more evidence-based. 💜

PS Looking for a baby shower gift you’ll actually want to use? HeHe loves the Primally Pure Baby Kit for its simple, thoughtfully made products that she uses with Saggy, including their Baby Balm, Bath Bar, Baby Oil, and Baby Powder. Use code HEHE at checkout to save 10%. You can find the Baby Kit here: https://primallypure.com/products/the-baby-kit

Chapters
00:00 Due Date Myth Busting
01:08 Podcast Welcome & Updates
01:26 Free Class: Avoiding a C-Section
03:23 Baby Shower Advice Warning
04:45 The Truth About Sushi in Pregnancy
07:39 How to Sleep Better While Pregnant
10:49 Is It Safe to Go Past Your Due Date?
13:05 The C-Section & Breastfeeding Myth
17:44 Baby Bundle Gift Sponsor
19:49 Wrap Up & Birth Lounge Invite

SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/ 

BIRTH EDUCATION:
Learn how to stay in control of your birth and reduce the risk of unnecessary interventions in our Avoid a C-Section Webinar. HeHe breaks down the cascade of interventions, explains what’s really happening in the hospital, and shares practical strategies to protect your birth plan, advocate for yourself, and navigate labor with confidence. Perfect for anyone who wants a positive, informed hospital birth experience: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/csection

Want prep delivered straight to your phone?
Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

What if secure attachment isn't about doing everything perfectly? In this episode, HeHe sits down with licensed therapist and attachment expert Eli Harwood, aka Attachment Nerd, to break down what secure attachment actually looks like, how co-regulation and attunement shape our relationships with our kids, and why being “regulated enough” matters way more than being a perfect parent.

HeHe and Eli unpack the difference between attachment and simply being connected, why responsiveness matters more than following a specific parenting philosophy, and what happens when our own mental health, stress, or childhood experiences make it harder to tune into our kids. They talk about the still face experiment, the reality that even securely attached parent-child pairs are only perfectly in sync some of the time, and why repairing after you mess up is one of the most powerful things you can do.

And if you're trying to break generational patterns, this conversation goes DEEP. Eli shares how grieving what you didn't receive in childhood can actually help you parent differently, plus practical ways to apologize, reconnect, and create safety after a rupture.

They also get into daycare, temperament, neurodivergence, clingy kids, proximity-seeking, self-soothing vs. shutting down, gentle parenting vs. permissive parenting, and the long-term impact of secure attachment. And yes, they talk about spanking, why it can disrupt trust, and what repair can look like when you've already made a parenting choice you regret.

Basically, this episode is your reminder that secure attachment isn't about never getting it wrong. It's about creating a relationship where your child knows you're there, keeps coming back to you, and learns that even when things go sideways, connection can be repaired. 💜

Chapters
00:00 Regulated Enough Goals
01:01 Free C-Section Class
03:14 The Biological Parenting Lens
07:30 What Attachment Actually Is
10:59 Attachment Myths & Nuance
14:47 Mental Health & Bonding
16:10 Attunement & Co-Regulation
19:46 Good Enough Parenting
28:35 Repair & Apology Scripts
38:51 Breaking Cycles From Your Childhood
42:07 Signs of Secure Attachment
44:15 Self-Soothing vs. Shutdown
45:12 Temperament & the Strange Situation
47:43 Why Kids Have a Preferred Caregiver
50:03 Reassurance Beyond Hugs
53:09 Clingy Kids & Hypervigilance
55:09 The Myth of Attachment Milestones
56:10 Gentle vs. Permissive Parenting
01:02:54 The Long-Term Benefits of Secure Attachment
01:06:04 Building Your Village
01:08:49 Find Eli
01:11:07 Spanking & Repair
01:16:33 Final Takeaways & Outro

Guest Bio:

Eli Harwood is a licensed therapist, creator of Attachment Nerd, and author of the books "Securely Attached", "Raising Securely Attached Kids," and “How to Deal with Your (__) So Your Kids Don’t Have to”. She has over 19 years of clinical experience, over 1.5 million followers across her social media platforms, and is on a mission to make the world a more secure place one attachment relationship at a time. Eli has three children, one husband, two cats, a gaggle of chickens, and an extraordinary number of high maintenance plants!

 

Connect with Eli: www.attachmentnerd.com

SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/ 

Connect with Eli on IG: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/

LINKS MENTIONED:
Learn about the Still Face Experiment here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/research-still-face-experiment/

BIRTH EDUCATION:
Learn how to stay in control of your birth and reduce the risk of unnecessary interventions in our Avoid a C-Section Webinar. HeHe breaks down the cascade of interventions, explains what’s really happening in the hospital, and shares practical strategies to protect your birth plan, advocate for yourself, and navigate labor with confidence. Perfect for anyone who wants a positive, informed hospital birth experience: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/csection

Feeling nervous about speaking up in labor? Our Scripts for Advocacy give you the exact words to handle the most common conversations that can make or break your birth experience. From declining unnecessary interventions to asking the right questions about procedures, these scripts empower you to stay in control, speak confidently, and protect your birth plan — even when the pressure is on. Think of it as your personal toolkit for advocating like a pro, so you can focus on your baby, not the stress: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

And if you haven’t grabbed it yet…
Snag my free Pitocin Guide to understand the risks, benefits, and red flags your provider may not be telling you about, so you can make informed, powerful decisions in labor: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/pitocin

Join The Birth Lounge for judgment-free, evidence-based childbirth education from HeHe that shows you exactly how to navigate hospital policies, avoid unnecessary interventions, and have a trauma-free labor experience, all while feeling wildly supported every step of the way: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/

Want prep delivered straight to your phone?
Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app