The Birth Lounge Podcast

What does it actually mean to be allowed to give birth a certain way? And who gets to decide? Spoiler: it shouldn't come down to hospital policy, a provider's comfort level, or skills they were never taught in the first place.

In this episode of The Birth Lounge Podcast, HeHe dives deeper into Allowed to Birth, the documentary challenging the way we think about birth, autonomy, and the options parents are offered. From breech birth and VBAC to ultrasound, midwifery, and the fear that can shape the entire birth experience, this conversation gets into what happens when the system's limitations become your limitations. Plus, HeHe introduces the Labor Live Challenge, a three-day live birth simulation starting November 1, where you can practice making decisions, advocating for yourself, and navigating the unexpected before you're in the birth room. Sign up at joinlaborlive.com

You'll hear from experts featured in the film, including an OB/GYN who traveled to Germany to learn upright, physiologic breech birth skills; a certified nurse-midwife making the case for evidence-based care and real collaboration between midwives and OBs; and a midwife and sonographer unpacking how ultrasound can be a helpful tool without turning every finding into a reason to panic. The conversation also explores the global shortage of midwives, the difference between regulation and safety, and how fear affects the body's response to labor. Because information should help you feel more prepared, not more terrified.

The takeaway? You deserve options, honest conversations, informed consent, and a care team that respects your voice. This isn't about saying every birth option is right for every person. It's about making sure your choices are based on your individual circumstances, good information, and actual conversations, not fear or someone else's assumptions about what you're "allowed" to do.

In this episode:
Why birth options can depend on provider training, hospital policies, and the skills available in your area
What an OB/GYN learned while pursuing upright, physiologic breech birth training in Germany
How fear, litigation concerns, and gaps in training can influence breech birth and VBAC access
Why hands-on skills and true collaboration between OBs and midwives matter
How to approach ultrasound as a tool for information and planning, without treating every result as a worst-case scenario
The difference between understanding a baby's size or position and using those findings to fuel unnecessary fear
Why the global midwife workforce gap matters for families seeking more options
How regulation, access, and safety intersect in maternity care
What fear does to the body during labor, including the roles of adrenaline and oxytocin
How language and frightening messaging can shape the birth experience
Why hypnobirthing isn't about being hypnotized or magically having a pain-free birth
How partners can help you practice advocacy and prepare for decisions before labor begins
Why knowing your options is important, but practicing how to navigate them can make all the difference
Explore Allowed to Birth and find screening information: https://allowedtobirth.com

Practice your birth decisions before you're in labor with Labor Live: https://joinlaborlive.com

Explore The Birth Lounge: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/

Timestamps
00:00 Reclaim Your Power
01:23 Birth Simulation Idea
03:00 Labor Live Challenge
04:30 Allowed to Birth Setup
06:04 Breech Twins and VBAC Limits
11:19 An OB/GYN Trains in Germany
15:47 Why Breech Birth Is Limited in the U.S.
21:46 The Importance of Hands-On Breech Skills
24:16 Demanding Better Birth Options
33:44 What Does "Allowed" Really Mean?
35:39 Meet Midwife Whitney
38:47 Evidence-Based Hospital Birth
45:39 Collaboration and Accountability
48:46 Building Trust Around VBAC
50:04 Doulas and Team Culture
51:53 Gaps in Hospital Training
52:49 Redefining What's "Allowed"
54:17 Technology vs. Intuition
56:56 Ultrasound Safety Basics
01:00:13 Scan Limitations and Errors
01:08:25 Fearmongering Around a "Big Baby"
01:11:21 Ultrasound as a Planning Tool
01:15:52 Lineage, Trauma, and Power
01:22:33 Balancing Tools and Change
01:25:25 Non-Toxic Baby Gifts
01:27:34 Data vs. Certainty
01:30:37 The Reality of Emergency Planning
01:36:43 Ultrasound Limitations and Fear
01:44:38 Birth, Permission, and Autonomy
01:50:43 The Goal of One Million Midwives
01:58:45 Regulation vs. Safety
02:07:18 The Fear Response in Labor
02:11:30 How Words Can Trigger Fear
02:12:17 Adrenaline vs. Oxytocin
02:15:24 Induction and the Cascade of Interventions
02:18:35 Learning About Birth Without Fear
02:20:34 Hypnobirthing, Reframed
02:26:11 Debunking Hypnosis Myths
02:30:56 The Partner's Role and Practicing Advocacy
02:34:47 Planning Birth Decisions Ahead of Time
02:38:49 Who Decides What's "Allowed"?
02:45:45 Film Takeaways and Final Call
02:51:21 Inside the Labor Live Simulation
02:53:30 Final Wrap and Outro

Guests:
Dr. Bradley Meyer:
https://www.breechwithoutborders.org/bradley/

Whitney Pinger:
https://wisdommidwifery.com/about

 Amariee Collins:
https://radicle.my.canva.site/

Zulgeil "Zul" Ruiz-Ginés, LM:
https://kibimidwifery.org/about-the-team

Katharine Graves: 
https://www.kghypnobirthing.com/us/hypnobirthing-online-course
SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/ 
BIRTH EDUCATION:
Learn how to stay in control of your birth and reduce the risk of unnecessary interventions in our Avoid a C-Section Webinar. HeHe breaks down the cascade of interventions, explains what’s really happening in the hospital, and shares practical strategies to protect your birth plan, advocate for yourself, and navigate labor with confidence. Perfect for anyone who wants a positive, informed hospital birth experience: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/csection
Feeling nervous about speaking up in labor? Our Scripts for Advocacy give you the exact words to handle the most common conversations that can make or break your birth experience. From declining unnecessary interventions to asking the right questions about procedures, these scripts empower you to stay in control, speak confidently, and protect your birth plan — even when the pressure is on. Think of it as your personal toolkit for advocating like a pro, so you can focus on your baby, not the stress: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy
And if you haven’t grabbed it yet…
Snag my free Pitocin Guide to understand the risks, benefits, and red flags your provider may not be telling you about, so you can make informed, powerful decisions in labor: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/pitocin
Join The Birth Lounge for judgment-free, evidence-based childbirth education from HeHe that shows you exactly how to navigate hospital policies, avoid unnecessary interventions, and have a trauma-free labor experience, all while feeling wildly supported every step of the way: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/
Want prep delivered straight to your phone?
Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

LINKS MENTIONED:
HeHe’s go-to gift is the Primally Pure Baby Bundle! After having Saggy, these became products she actually uses at home, from the baby balm and bath bar to the baby oil and powder. Want to gift a new parent some simple baby-care staples? Head to primallypure.com and use code HEHE for 10% off your order.
This episode contains affiliate links, which means HeHe may earn a commission if you purchase through her link, at no extra cost to you.

Birth changes you. The real question is whether you come out the other side feeling strong, supported, and like your voice actually mattered, or like it never did.

 

In this episode HeHe sits down with Jacinta Lagos, Argentinian-born filmmaker, birth photographer, and director of the documentary Allowed to Birth: The Journey of a Global Midwife, right after attending the film's premiere. Jacinta built the film after years of watching obstetric violence, disrespectful care, and hospital policy get put ahead of the person actually giving birth, and she wanted to do something bigger about it than another social post.

 

Knowing what's possible in your birth is one thing, actually practicing it before you're in the room is another. That's exactly what the Labor Live Challenge is built for, a three day live birth simulation you can do every single month: https://joinlaborlive.com/

 

Jacinta and HeHe get into the real story behind the documentary, from how midwife Kristine Lauria became the center of the film (including the triplet home birth that changed the entire shape of the project) to why Jacinta deliberately chose a cast with no political overlap, because birth doesn't have a side. They talk about the unexpected reactions she's gotten on the road, including a nurse-midwife who told her she felt threatened by the film, and what that reaction actually revealed. And they're both clear about one thing: this isn't an anti-hospital or pro-home-birth film. It's a film about informed choice.

 

In this episode:

Why birth is a pivotal life transition, and why feeling safe, supported, and autonomous matters long after your baby arrives

The Labor Live Challenge and why practicing birth decisions before labor can help you actually feel prepared, not just informed

What inspired Jacinta to create Allowed to Birth after witnessing obstetric violence, disrespect, and hospital policies overriding patient choice

Why midwife Kristine Lauria became central to the film, and what the triplet home birth she caught on camera did to the shape of the whole project

How Jacinta chose her cast, and why she was intentional about pulling people from every corner of the political spectrum

The unexpected reactions from screenings, including a provider who said the film made her feel threatened

Why this isn't an anti-hospital or pro-home-birth documentary, but a conversation about informed choice

Where to find a screening, how to host your own, and when the film is coming online

 

If you want to feel ready instead of just informed, go practice your birth before you're actually in it: https://joinlaborlive.com/

 

If this episode moved you, rate and review the show. It's the number one way other parents find it.

 

CHAPTERS

00:00 Birth Changes You

00:31 Practice Labor Live

02:27 Allowed to Birth Premiere

08:00 Why Jacinta Made It

23:00 Truly Free

26:36 Screenings and Pushback

35:27 System Failing Mothers

36:02 Premiere Speech Highlights

39:07 Choosing the Interviewees

44:07 Film Impact and Alternatives

49:11 How to Watch and Final Wrap

 

GUEST BIO

Jacinta Lagos is an Argentinian-born filmmaker, birth photographer, and videographer based in the United States. A former doula and mother of three, she is the director of Allowed to Birth: The Journey of a Global Midwife, marking her debut as a feature filmmaker. The documentary follows midwife Kristine Lauria and explores birth practices, maternal autonomy, and the importance of physiological birth, built as a tool for education and advocacy around informed choice in maternity care.

 

CONNECT

HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/

The Birth Lounge on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.birth.lounge/

Allowed to Birth: https://www.allowedtobirth.com/

Allowed to Birth on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allowedtobirth/

 

TRULY FREE

This episode contains an affiliate link, which means HeHe may earn a commission if you purchase through it at no extra cost to you. After going down the laundry detergent rabbit hole, HeHe landed on Truly Free, a plant-based, dye-free option that comes completely unscented and actually gets the job done. Because baby clothes, sheets, and approximately a million loads of family laundry deserve a detergent that checks all the boxes. One box lasts for months, too! Head to trulyfreehome.com and use code HEHE to save on your order.

KEEP LEARNING WITH HEHE

Download The Birth Lounge app for evidence-based childbirth education and data-driven postpartum support delivered straight to your phone: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

 

LINKS MENTIONED

Watch or host a screening of Allowed to Birth: https://www.allowedtobirth.com/

Practice your birth with the Labor Live Challenge: https://joinlaborlive.com/

Truly Free (use code HEHE): https://www.trulyfreehome.com

Allowed to Birth on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allowedtobirth/

The Birth Lounge app: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

 

LISTEN NEXT

Ep. 492: Kristine Lauria on Allowed to Birth, Informed Consent, and the Fight to Preserve Midwifery Skills (HeHe references this one directly in the episode as last week's conversation): https://youtu.be/OvNC_N8Y0Ig

Are you actually allowed to say no in the birth room? Kristine Lauria has spent her career helping women understand that birth is not something that should require permission.

HeHe sits down with Kristine, an internationally recognized midwife, educator, author and birth advocate known for her expertise in physiological breech birth, to talk about informed consent, autonomy, and what happens when the birth you planned runs into the rules and routines of the system. They unpack why women can feel like they have to ask permission to eat, move, labor in a certain position, or make decisions about their own care, and how to build a birth team that actually supports your goals.

The conversation goes deeper into the medicalization of birth, the loss of clinical skills like physiological breech and vaginal twin birth, and why Kristine believes birth should be understood as a normal physiological process that sometimes needs medical support. She and HeHe also talk about freebirth, choosing a provider and birth setting based on your own goals rather than fear, and what makes New Zealand's collaborative model of midwives and physicians so different.

In this episode:

What does “Allowed to Birth” actually mean?

Why do so many women feel like they need permission in the birth room?

What informed consent and true autonomy can look like in practice

How hospital policies can conflict with a patient's wishes

What a “bait and switch” can look like when the birth plan meets the reality of labor

Why skills like breech birth and vaginal twin birth are becoming increasingly rare

What happens to your options when providers aren't trained in different types of birth

Freebirth, autonomy and making decisions without fear

How to choose a birth team and setting that actually align with your goals

Why Kristine points to New Zealand as an example of collaborative maternity care

The difference between supporting normal birth and being prepared when medical intervention is actually needed

If you want the actual words to use when you're advocating for yourself in the birth room, grab Scripts for Advocacy here: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

If this episode helped you, rate and review the show. It's one of the best ways to help other parents find the podcast.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Birth Beyond Medicine

00:56 The New Baby Sleep Guide

06:06 Why This Episode, Informed Consent

11:02 Meet Kristine And The Documentary

17:56 What Allowed To Birth Really Means

34:48 A Freebirth Reality Check

37:14 Autonomy Without Fear

40:15 Choosing The Right Birth Team

43:30 Hospital Policies And Real Consent

53:12 Fixing Birth Culture Worldwide

58:24 Patriarchy And Provider Ego

01:03:27 Birth, Power, And Gratitude

01:04:11 How To Watch The Film

01:05:58 Trusting Your Intuition In Birth

01:07:28 Final Links And Wrap-Up

 

GUEST BIO

Kristine Lauria is an internationally recognized midwife, educator, author, and birth advocate. Renowned for her expertise in physiological breech birth, she has dedicated her career to preserving and teaching clinical skills that support safe, individualized care for mothers and babies. A sought-after international speaker and educator, Kristine has trained midwives and physicians around the world, helping to revitalize knowledge and hands-on skills that are increasingly rare in modern maternity care. She is featured in the award-winning documentary Allowed to Birth, The Journey of a Global Midwife, which explores informed choice, the sacred nature of birth, and the preservation of the art of midwifery.

 

CONNECT

HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/

Kristine's website: https://www.allowedtobirth.com/

Kristine's website: https://www.kristinelauria.com/

Kristine on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/globalmidwife64/

Allowed to Birth on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allowedtobirth/

 

KEEP LEARNING WITH HEHE

Baby hit four months and sleep went sideways? HeHe's Baby Sleep Solutions Guide covers exactly that, grab it here: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/babysleep

 

LINKS MENTIONED

Scripts for Advocacy: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

Baby Sleep Solutions Guide: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/babysleep

Kristine's website: https://www.allowedtobirth.com/

Kristine's website: https://www.kristinelauria.com/

Kristine on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/globalmidwife64/

Allowed to Birth on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allowedtobirth/

Affiliates Mentioned (HeHe may earn a small commission when you use her link): Lalo Beautiful, minimalist baby gear that actually works for real life. From their travel-friendly Hook-On High Chair to their durable, design-forward Play Kit, Lalo creates pieces that grow with your family and look good doing it. Head to https://www.meetlalo.com/ and use code HEHE to save.

Your friend just had a baby and you have no idea what to actually do. Same.

HeHe is recording this one late at night in the thick of the 8 to 10 month growth spurt with her own son Saggy, and it got her thinking about something she has never actually sat down and mapped out for you guys: what does showing up for a postpartum friend actually look like, in practice, not just in theory.

 

This episode gives you the real playbook, but the next question is always what do I actually do when I walk in the door, and that's exactly what HeHe's new Baby Sleep Solutions Guide is built for too, giving you a concrete plan instead of vague advice: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/babysleep

 

HeHe breaks down the difference between her pre baby support style (packing a suitcase and living with her postpartum friends, no joke) and what she does now that she has her own kid at home, plus the exact mental checklist she runs before showing up: do they want company or space, do they want you holding the baby or doing their dishes, and how to offer help without making it weird.

 

In this episode:

What HeHe actually used to do when a bestie had a baby (here's a hint, it involved a suitcase)

The one thing you should never do when you walk into a postpartum friend's house, even if you mean well

How to run a meal train that doesn't backfire and leave a family drowning in lasagna

Why checking in from far away matters just as much as showing up in person, and the exact apps and habits that make it easy

When sharing your own experience helps a new mom, and when it crosses into advice she didn't ask for

The one thing in every hospital bag that saved HeHe's nipples twice, once from a tongue tie and once from teething

 

If you have ever stood outside a friend's door with a casserole wondering if you're about to overstep, this episode is your permission slip and your plan. Grab the Baby Sleep Solutions Guide here: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/babysleep

If this episode helped you, rate and review the show. It's the number one way other parents find it.

 

CHAPTERS

00:00 Show Up As The Village

00:52 A Very Late Night Life Update

01:43 The New Baby Sleep Guide Is Here

05:44 Where This Episode Idea Came From

07:02 What HeHe Used To Do, Pre Baby

08:56 How To Help Without Holding The Baby

11:37 Meals And Meal Trains Done Right

14:58 The Silverette Fix For Nipple Pain

17:54 Checking In When You Can't Show Up In Person

26:06 Knowing Your Role And Final Thoughts

 

CONNECT

HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/

The Birth Lounge on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.birth.lounge/

 

SILVERETTE

This episode contains an affiliate link. If you purchase through it, HeHe may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. If you're planning to breastfeed, Silverette cups are a registry must. HeHe used hers for cracked, bleeding nipples from her son's tongue tie, and again months later for teething bites, and both times they were a lifesaver. They're real silver and a one time investment that lasts through every baby you have. Grab them at https://www.silveretteusa.com and use code HEHE for 10% off.

 

KEEP LEARNING WITH HEHE

Want prep delivered straight to your phone? Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

 

LINKS MENTIONED

Baby Sleep Solutions Guide: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/babysleep

Silverette cups (use code HEHE): https://www.silveretteusa.com

Baby hit four months and sleep went sideways? HeHe's Baby Sleep Solutions Guide covers exactly that, grab it here: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/babysleep

 

Part three of the tongue tie series, and this one goes somewhere completely different. HeHe sits down with Michelle Emmanuel, a baby-specialized occupational therapist with 30 years in the field, to answer a question that never even crossed her mind before this conversation, what if a tongue tie isn't just about feeding at all?

 

Michelle breaks down why oral restrictions are connective tissue, not muscle, and why they start forming as early as eight to nine weeks in utero, genetically, before anything about birth or positioning even gets involved. From there she connects dots HeHe did not see coming, torticollis, high palate, micrognathia, a distended belly, reflux, slow gastric motility, even head shape and posture, all potentially tracing back to the same restricted tissue. Michelle's line that stuck with HeHe: the tongue is a multi-muscular midline organ connected all the way down to the toes.

 

Then HeHe gets vulnerable. Her son's tongue release at 48 hours old changed everything for breastfeeding overnight, but tummy time was still a nightmare, screaming, arching, refusing to tolerate it on any flat surface. Turns out that was a sign too. After staged revisions of his buccal ties and upper lip tie, tummy time stopped being torture and started being something he actually enjoyed. Michelle explains why that connection is real, why staged releases can be the smarter call for a brand new baby, and why rushing a release before a baby's tissue and nervous system are ready can actually backfire.

 

They also get into the messier, more honest parts of this world, the total lack of research on wound care and buccal or lip tie releases, why Michelle avoids the word "tongue tie" now in favor of "oral dysfunction and restrictions," and what to do when your pediatrician brushes off your concerns (her answer, start with an IBCLC). And because airway is where this whole series is headed, Michelle closes with the direct line between tongue mobility, mouth breathing, snoring, and the sleep disruption so many parents chalk up to "just a bad sleeper."

 

Oh, and don't skip the part where HeHe finally reveals which laundry detergent won the great mom-group debate, you'll want to hear this one.

 

Want the shortcut version of what HeHe has learned about getting real sleep from 4 to 24 months? Grab her Baby Sleep Solutions Guide here: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/babysleep

 

CHAPTERS

00:00 Tongue Tie Breakthrough

00:57 Baby Sleep Guide Launch

06:06 Pandemic Parenting Rant

07:17 Oral Ties Explained

22:00 Signs And Support Strategies

40:40 Training Over Social Media

43:12 Tummy Time And Revisions

46:57 Staged Releases And Evidence

59:59 Wound Care Debate

01:06:25 Airway, Timing, And Wrap-Up

 

GUEST BIO

Michelle Emmanuel is a baby-specialized occupational therapist with 30 years of experience, focused on infant posture, body movement, and whole-body development from the newborn period through pre-crawling. She created the Tummy Time Method and Baby Myo, and spends much of her time training other therapists (OT, PT, speech, and lactation professionals) to support babies with oral restrictions as part of a multidisciplinary care team.

 

Connect with Michelle: https://www.tummytimemethod.com
https://www.babymyo.com

 

SOCIAL MEDIA

HeHe's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe

Michelle's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonguetiebabies

 

TRULY FREE

Ready to ditch laundry detergent that's secretly loaded with hormone disruptors? HeHe made the switch to Truly Free, plant-based, dye-free, and available completely unscented, and it's what she uses on everything her baby touches. Head to https://www.trulyfreehome.com and use code HEHE to save on your order.

 

BIRTH EDUCATION RESOURCES

Join The Birth Lounge for judgment-free, evidence-based childbirth education from HeHe that shows you exactly how to navigate hospital policies, avoid unnecessary interventions, and have a trauma-free labor experience, all while feeling wildly supported every step of the way: https://www.thebirthlounge.com

 

Want prep delivered straight to your phone? Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

 

LINKS MENTIONED

Baby Sleep Solutions Guide: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/babysleep

Truly Free (use code HEHE): https://www.trulyfreehome.com

Hear Baby Saggy’s Tongue Tie release story here: https://podcast.thebirthlounge.com/e/ep-488-tongue-tie-release-signs-pain-and-why-some-babies-need-a-second-revision-my-babys-story/