The Birth Lounge Podcast

In this episode of The Birth Lounge Podcast, HeHe sits down with pelvic floor physical therapist Hayley Kava, founder of UMA Pelvic Health, to tackle one of the most common pregnancy complaints that doesn't get nearly enough attention: SI joint pain.

If you've been told pregnancy pain is "just part of it," this conversation is your reminder that you don't have to simply suffer through it. Hayley explains what's actually happening in your pelvis during pregnancy, why SI joint pain develops, and how your pelvic floor, core, ribcage, breathing, and overall movement patterns all work together.

Together, HeHe and Hayley break down why treating the pelvis in isolation often misses the bigger picture, how pregnancy hormones and your changing biomechanics influence pain, and why small changes to the way you move, stand, breathe, and rest can make a huge difference. They also discuss practical tools like SI belts, belly support bands, Pilates balls, yoga blocks, and gentle movement strategies, along with when those tools can help... and when they might not.

Hayley also shares why pelvic floor physical therapy isn't just about internal exams (and yes, those are always optional), how to build a supportive birth team, and why individualized care is one of the best investments you can make during pregnancy.

Whether you're already dealing with pelvic pain or hoping to prevent it, this episode is packed with practical, evidence-based strategies to help you move more comfortably, feel more supported, and better understand your changing body throughout pregnancy.

00:00 Stop Blaming Pelvic Floor

01:03 Pelvic Floor Basics

01:56 Meet Hayley Kava

03:19 Why SI Pain Matters

06:43 SI Joint Anatomy

09:18 Normal Asymmetry Patterns

12:20 Pubic Pain and Rolling

15:52 Inhibit Then Retrain

17:56 Rubiks Cube Body Model

20:10 Stop Bracing to Sneeze

21:34 Pregnancy Posture Fixes

25:31 Preparing for Labor Moves

29:14 Build Your Care Team

33:39 Pregnancy Compensation Patterns

34:36 Spotting Habitual Postures

36:46 Mindful Pain Check Ins

38:29 Shifting Stance And Sitting

41:29 Tension Beyond Pelvic Floor

43:23 Guarding And SI Joint Myths

46:16 Ribs Hip And Big Picture

47:57 Internal Exam Is Optional

50:38 Daily Tools And Movement

56:43 Services Access And Wrap Up

 

Guest Bio:

Hayley became a pelvic floor therapist in 2017 after a birth injury opened her eyes to the limitations in traditional pelvic rehab.

Hayley took her Postural Restoration and Sports Medicine background and dug deep into the literature. Over the years developing an integrative whole person method to treat the pelvic floor.

She has become passionate about sharing this method with not only her clients and staff but to the masses via social media, online classes and various trainings for clinicians looking to take a different approach to pelvic rehab. You can learn more about those offerings at hayleykavapt.com

 

SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/ 

Connect with Hayley on IG: https://www.instagram.com/hayleykavapt/

BIRTH EDUCATION:
Learn how to stay in control of your birth and reduce the risk of unnecessary interventions in our Avoid a C-Section Webinar. HeHe breaks down the cascade of interventions, explains what’s really happening in the hospital, and shares practical strategies to protect your birth plan, advocate for yourself, and navigate labor with confidence. Perfect for anyone who wants a positive, informed hospital birth experience: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/csection

Feeling nervous about speaking up in labor? Our Scripts for Advocacy give you the exact words to handle the most common conversations that can make or break your birth experience. From declining unnecessary interventions to asking the right questions about procedures, these scripts empower you to stay in control, speak confidently, and protect your birth plan — even when the pressure is on. Think of it as your personal toolkit for advocating like a pro, so you can focus on your baby, not the stress: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

And if you haven’t grabbed it yet…
Snag my free Pitocin Guide to understand the risks, benefits, and red flags your provider may not be telling you about, so you can make informed, powerful decisions in labor: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/pitocin

Join The Birth Lounge for judgment-free, evidence-based childbirth education from HeHe that shows you exactly how to navigate hospital policies, avoid unnecessary interventions, and have a trauma-free labor experience, all while feeling wildly supported every step of the way: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/

Want prep delivered straight to your phone?
Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

 

LINKS AND RESEARCH MENTIONED:
www.umapelvichealth.com

www.hayleykavapt.com

Kiapour A, Joukar A, Elgafy H, Erbulut DU, Agarwal AK, Goel VK. Biomechanics of the Sacroiliac Joint: Anatomy, Function, Biomechanics, Sexual Dimorphism, and Causes of Pain. Int J Spine Surg. 2020 Feb 10;14(Suppl 1):3-13. doi: 10.14444/6077. PMID: 32123652; PMCID: PMC7041664.

Joukar, Amin MS∗; Shah, Anoli MS∗; Kiapour, Ali PhD∗; Vosoughi, Ardalan Seyed MS∗; Duhon, Bradley MD†; Agarwal, Anand K. MD∗; Elgafy, Hossein MD∗; Ebraheim, Nabil MD∗; Goel, Vijay K. PhD∗. Sex Specific Sacroiliac Joint Biomechanics During Standing Upright: A Finite Element Study. SPINE 43(18):p E1053-E1060, September 15, 2018. | DOI: 10.1097/BRS.0000000000002623

Ep. 468: The Know Your Rights Map: Obstetrical Violence, Birth Trauma, and Patient Rights in the Hospital Birth Room with Cristen Pascucci [Re-Air of Ep. 203]
In this Birth Lounge Podcast episode, host HeHe interviews Kristen Pascucci, founder of Birth Monopoly, about birth trauma and obstetric violence in hospital birth. They discuss trauma as a self-defined response that overwhelms the system, common trauma/PTSD symptoms (intrusive memories, nightmares, avoidance, physical reactions, triggers including the hospital or even the baby), and the overlap with prior sexual trauma. Pascucci explains obstetric violence as appropriation of the birthing person’s body and subordination through coercion, manipulation, pressure, disrespect, and power dynamics, ranging from jokes about birth plans to forced procedures; vaginal exams without true informed consent are highlighted as a common example. They also cover reporting options (hospital complaints, state licensing boards, lawsuits) and why accountability is often limited, including low disciplinary rates and barriers to malpractice cases, and share resources at birthmonopoly.com including an obstetric violence map.

00:00 Accountability and Advocacy

02:06 Informed Consent Basics

04:09 Meet Cristen Pascucci

05:34 What Birth Trauma Means

09:23 Trauma Symptoms and Triggers

16:13 Defining Obstetric Violence

20:13 The Pyramid of Harm

21:39 Common Example Vaginal Exams

33:02 Reporting and Medical Boards

45:29 Resources and Closing

 

Guest Bio:

A former communications strategist at a top public affairs firm in Baltimore, Maryland, Cristen Pascucci is the founder of Birth Monopoly and Birth Monopoly's Doula Power group, co-creator of the Exposing the Silence Project, and, from 2012 to 2016, vice president of national advocacy organization Improving Birth. She has run an emergency hotline for women facing threats to their legal rights in childbirth, created a viral consumer campaign to “Break the Silence” on trauma and abuse in childbirth, and helped put obstetric violence and the maternity care crisis in national media. Today, she is a leading voice for women giving birth, speaking around the country and consulting privately for consumers and professionals on issues related to birth rights and options. Cristen​ ​is also the host of Birth Allowed Radio as well as executive producer of a documentary film planned for release in 2020 to start a national conversation on obstetric violence, birth trauma, and women's rights in birth.

SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/ 

Connect with Cristen on IG: https://www.instagram.com/birthmonopoly

facebook.com/birthmonopoly

BIRTH EDUCATION:
Learn how to stay in control of your birth and reduce the risk of unnecessary interventions in our Avoid a C-Section Webinar. HeHe breaks down the cascade of interventions, explains what’s really happening in the hospital, and shares practical strategies to protect your birth plan, advocate for yourself, and navigate labor with confidence. Perfect for anyone who wants a positive, informed hospital birth experience: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/csection

Feeling nervous about speaking up in labor? Our Scripts for Advocacy give you the exact words to handle the most common conversations that can make or break your birth experience. From declining unnecessary interventions to asking the right questions about procedures, these scripts empower you to stay in control, speak confidently, and protect your birth plan — even when the pressure is on. Think of it as your personal toolkit for advocating like a pro, so you can focus on your baby, not the stress: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

And if you haven’t grabbed it yet…
Snag my free Pitocin Guide to understand the risks, benefits, and red flags your provider may not be telling you about, so you can make informed, powerful decisions in labor: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/pitocin

Join The Birth Lounge for judgment-free, evidence-based childbirth education from HeHe that shows you exactly how to navigate hospital policies, avoid unnecessary interventions, and have a trauma-free labor experience, all while feeling wildly supported every step of the way: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/

Want prep delivered straight to your phone?
Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

In this episode of The Birth Lounge Podcast, HeHe welcomes back perinatal therapist Ashley Mariani for a conversation that isn't happening nearly enough: the relationship between sexuality, pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.

So often, our culture either completely ignores sexuality in motherhood or hypersexualizes birth in ways that don't actually serve women. HeHe and Ashley explore what it looks like to honor your sexuality as a natural, embodied part of pregnancy, labor, birth, and beyond, and why that relationship with yourself doesn't simply disappear once your baby arrives.

Together, they dive into the realities of rebuilding intimacy after birth, navigating breastfeeding, co-sleeping, body changes, exhaustion, and the identity shifts that come with becoming parents. They also unpack how these experiences impact relationships, why desire often changes postpartum, and how couples can reconnect without shame, pressure, or unrealistic expectations.

Whether you're pregnant, newly postpartum, or years into parenthood, this conversation offers a compassionate, honest look at one of the most overlooked parts of the motherhood journey and reminds you that your identity, your relationship, and your sexuality all deserve care, too.

00:54 Content Warning and Space

03:08 Guest and Episode Focus

06:42 Sex Taboo and Real Support

09:21 Sex and Birth Connection

12:23 Purity Culture Origins

14:44 Porn Culture and Pregnancy

21:37 Postpartum Porn and Healing

34:37 Sex Positive Parenting

35:51 Co Sleeping and Desire

39:52 Spontaneous Intimacy Ideas

41:57 Free Birth Advocacy Class

43:41 Postpartum Desire Differences

46:32 Playful Safe Flirting

49:29 Two Year Desire Timeline

52:21 When Therapy Is Refused

56:29 Family Origins And Shame

01:00:46 Misogyny Porn And Incel Culture

01:05:16 Relearning Embodiment Postpartum

01:10:50 Breaking Cycles With Communication

01:12:32 Vaginal Mapping And Tiny Bites

01:17:28 Wrap Up Resources And Farewell

 

Guest Bio:

Ashley Mariani, a Registered Social Worker, mom, wife, and the owner of Mind Online Therapy. She’s been practicing virtually since 2018—long before it was trendy—and she’s known for a nervous-system-first approach that’s practical, grounded, and refreshingly free of fluff. Ashley’s work focuses on couples therapy, intimacy, anxiety, trauma, and perinatal mental health, with a strong emphasis on co-regulation, stress physiology, and shame-free conversations about what’s really happening beneath conflict. She’s also a birth trauma advocate, helping bring language, validation, and support to an experience that’s often minimized or misunderstood. Ashley is the voice behind The Rogue Therapist, where she delivers bold, honest education for people who are done performing their healing.

 

Connect with Ashley: Mindonline.ca

SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/ 

Connect with Mind Online on IG: https://www.instagram.com/mindonline.ca/

Connect with Ashley on IG: https://www.instagram.com/therogue.therapist/

 

BIRTH EDUCATION:
Learn how to stay in control of your birth and reduce the risk of unnecessary interventions in our Avoid a C-Section Webinar. HeHe breaks down the cascade of interventions, explains what’s really happening in the hospital, and shares practical strategies to protect your birth plan, advocate for yourself, and navigate labor with confidence. Perfect for anyone who wants a positive, informed hospital birth experience: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/csection

Feeling nervous about speaking up in labor? Our Scripts for Advocacy give you the exact words to handle the most common conversations that can make or break your birth experience. From declining unnecessary interventions to asking the right questions about procedures, these scripts empower you to stay in control, speak confidently, and protect your birth plan — even when the pressure is on. Think of it as your personal toolkit for advocating like a pro, so you can focus on your baby, not the stress: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

And if you haven’t grabbed it yet…
Snag my free Pitocin Guide to understand the risks, benefits, and red flags your provider may not be telling you about, so you can make informed, powerful decisions in labor: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/pitocin

Join The Birth Lounge for judgment-free, evidence-based childbirth education from HeHe that shows you exactly how to navigate hospital policies, avoid unnecessary interventions, and have a trauma-free labor experience, all while feeling wildly supported every step of the way: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/

Want prep delivered straight to your phone?
Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

In this episode of The Birth Lounge Podcast, HeHe continues her series on one of the most requested and emotionally charged topics in parenting: vaccines.

She's joined by pediatrician and The Vaccine Book author, Dr. Bob Sears, for a thoughtful conversation about vaccine schedules, informed consent, and why so many parents feel caught between asking questions and feeling heard. Together, they explore how vaccine recommendations have evolved over time, what influences the current childhood vaccine schedule, and why trust between families and the medical system has become increasingly strained.

Throughout the conversation, Dr. Sears shares his perspective on topics including timing of vaccination, measles and the MMR vaccine, herd immunity, newborn protection strategies, breastfeeding antibodies, and questions many parents have about vaccine ingredients, package inserts, MTHFR, and vaccine safety research. He also discusses why some families seek individualized approaches to vaccination and what he believes parents should consider when making decisions with their healthcare provider.

As with every episode in this series, this conversation is not intended to tell you what decisions to make for your family. Instead, HeHe's goal is to create space for respectful discussion, equip parents with information, and encourage thoughtful conversations with trusted healthcare providers so you can make informed decisions that align with your family's values.

Whether you're firmly decided, still gathering information, or simply curious about the questions many parents are asking, this episode invites you into a conversation centered on nuance, critical thinking, and respectful dialogue.

00:00 Vaccine Indoctrination Claim

01:08 Advocacy Scripts for Birth

04:22 Vaccine Series and Guest Intro

11:42 Why Trust Broke Down

39:24 Vaccines and Immune System Theory

49:35 Why MMR Hits Hard

52:18 Measles Risk and Nutrition

56:42 Vaccine Side Effects Data Gap

01:01:13 Herd Immunity Myth

01:04:31 Newborn Cocooning and Shedding

01:11:35 Pregnancy Vaccine Repeat Doses

01:14:43 MTHFR and Vaccine Decisions

01:20:18 Will Diseases Return

01:23:43 Finding Like Minded Care

01:26:35 Resources and Farewell




Guest Bio:

Dr. Bob Sears is a pediatrician, vaccine educator, and author of The Vaccine Book. He earned his medical degree at Georgetown University School of Medicine and did his pediatric internship and residency at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles. With the ongoing threat of mandatory vaccination laws, Dr. Bob’s mission is to insure that all families worldwide receive complete, objective, and un-doctored informed consent before they choose vaccination and that people everywhere retain the freedom to make healthcare decisions for themselves and their children.

 

https://drbobsears.com/

SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/

Connect with Dr. Sears on IG: https://www.instagram.com/drbobsears

BIRTH EDUCATION:
Learn how to stay in control of your birth and reduce the risk of unnecessary interventions in our Avoid a C-Section Webinar. HeHe breaks down the cascade of interventions, explains what’s really happening in the hospital, and shares practical strategies to protect your birth plan, advocate for yourself, and navigate labor with confidence. Perfect for anyone who wants a positive, informed hospital birth experience: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/csection

Feeling nervous about speaking up in labor? Our Scripts for Advocacy give you the exact words to handle the most common conversations that can make or break your birth experience. From declining unnecessary interventions to asking the right questions about procedures, these scripts empower you to stay in control, speak confidently, and protect your birth plan — even when the pressure is on. Think of it as your personal toolkit for advocating like a pro, so you can focus on your baby, not the stress: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

And if you haven’t grabbed it yet…
Snag my free Pitocin Guide to understand the risks, benefits, and red flags your provider may not be telling you about, so you can make informed, powerful decisions in labor: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/pitocin

 

Want prep delivered straight to your phone?
Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

 

LINKS MENTIONED:
https://www.vaclib.org/basic/health/patientchoicedoctors.htm

Just the Inserts website: find vaccine inserts on this website and vaccine friendly Pediatricians 

Dr. Green mom’s list of vaccine friendly Pediatricians: https://drgreenmom.com/find-a-vaccine-friendly-doctor/

Today's episode is brought to you by Two Pages Curtains. As a new mom, HeHe quickly realized how much her home environment impacted her postpartum recovery. Two Pages' beautiful cotton and linen curtains helped transform her home into a calmer, cozier space without sacrificing healthier materials. Visit twopagescurtains.com and use code HEHE to save on your favorite styles.

In this episode, HeHe sits down with international parenting coach Mary Van Geffen for a conversation every parent of a “spicy” child needs to hear. 💜 We’re talking about the strong-willed, deeply feeling, highly perceptive kids who are often labeled “too much,” “difficult,” or “defiant” when really… they just experience the world differently.

HeHe opens up about her own experience growing up labeled as a strong-willed child and how years of psychology education, therapy, and nervous system work helped her realize the problem was never that she was “bad.” More often, parents simply weren’t given the tools, support, or understanding needed to parent kids with intense temperaments.

Together, HeHe and Mary unpack what’s actually happening beneath tantrums, power struggles, emotional explosions, and big reactions. They talk about nervous systems, attachment, triggers rooted in our own childhoods, and why “connect before you direct” changes everything when parenting highly sensitive or persistent kids. You’ll also hear practical conversations around boundaries that are calm and firm, respectful parenting vs. permissive parenting, repairing after conflict, parenting teenagers with curiosity instead of control, and how to regulate yourself before trying to regulate your child.

This episode is validating, healing, and packed with practical tools for parents who want to raise emotionally healthy kids without shame, fear, or constant power struggles. And if you’ve ever worried that your child is “too much” or that you’re somehow failing as a parent… this conversation is going to feel like a giant exhale. 💜

 

Guest Bio:

Mary Van Geffen is the international parenting coach for Moms of Spicy
Ones®️, as well as a legit Spicy One herself. She wrote the book on thriving when your child ‘s needs feel overwhelming titled, Parenting A Spicy One: A Compassionate Guide for Raising a Wonderfully Strong-Willed and Deep Feeling Kid. (The book is Amazon’s 2026 top new release in both Motherhood and Parenting School Aged Children!) Mary’s work helps parents practice the spiritual discipline of staying calm, kind, and firm with their strong-willed kids - especially when they don't deserve it. She combines her training as a Simplicity Parenting counselor and Professional Co-Active Coach with hard-earned personal experience raising her own spirited daughter and mild-mannered son.She has transformed the lives of over eight thousand mothers with her on-line support group Moms of Spicy Ones Academy that includes hours of on-demand digital parenting classes and group coaching. Mary shares daily inspiration for loving your child and yourself with her 400,000 followers on Instagram. Her greatest achievement is cultivating a connected relationship with both her adult Spicy One child and her Spicy One Enneagram 8 mother.

Connect with Mary: 

maryvangeffen.com

SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/ 

Connect with Mary on IG: https://www.instagram.com/maryvangeffen

BIRTH EDUCATION:
Learn how to stay in control of your birth and reduce the risk of unnecessary interventions in our Avoid a C-Section Webinar. HeHe breaks down the cascade of interventions, explains what’s really happening in the hospital, and shares practical strategies to protect your birth plan, advocate for yourself, and navigate labor with confidence. Perfect for anyone who wants a positive, informed hospital birth experience: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/csection

Feeling nervous about speaking up in labor? Our Scripts for Advocacy give you the exact words to handle the most common conversations that can make or break your birth experience. From declining unnecessary interventions to asking the right questions about procedures, these scripts empower you to stay in control, speak confidently, and protect your birth plan — even when the pressure is on. Think of it as your personal toolkit for advocating like a pro, so you can focus on your baby, not the stress: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

And if you haven’t grabbed it yet…
Snag my free Pitocin Guide to understand the risks, benefits, and red flags your provider may not be telling you about, so you can make informed, powerful decisions in labor: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/pitocin

Join The Birth Lounge for judgment-free, evidence-based childbirth education from HeHe that shows you exactly how to navigate hospital policies, avoid unnecessary interventions, and have a trauma-free labor experience, all while feeling wildly supported every step of the way: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/

Want prep delivered straight to your phone?
Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app