In Part 2 of this conversation, Emma Murray and Dwayne Kerrigan move from awareness into practical performance tools. Emma introduces one of the most powerful distinctions in high performance: critique versus criticism.
She explains why self-criticism is a survival response that quietly destroys confidence, slows learning, and locks people into repeated mistakes. Through examples from elite sport, sales, leadership, parenting, and everyday life, Emma breaks down how to review performance by examining the entire process — thoughts, feelings, actions, and results — rather than attacking outcomes or identity.
The conversation also dives into fear-based leadership, tunnel vision, stress responses, and why people perform worse when they feel watched, pressured, or unsafe. Emma shares actionable techniques to regain presence under pressure, including breath, body awareness, and “small focus” anchors that keep the mind out of fight-or-flight. This episode equips leaders, entrepreneurs, and performers with a repeatable framework for learning faster, leading better, and performing consistently — even when stakes are high.
Episode Highlights:
00:00 – Emma on self-kindness under pressure and stopping the internal threat response
01:00 – Dwayne intro + framing Part 2: turning attention and mindset into action
02:00 – Critique over criticism: how thoughts drive feelings, actions, and results
03:30 – Outcome focus vs process focus and why pressure hijacks performance
05:05 – How to critique the entire performance process (thinking, feeling, doing)
06:40 – Turning failure into growth by extracting the right lessons
08:00 – Why quarterly reviews fail and daily reflection matters
09:45 – Coaching teams beyond checklists and task correction
11:25 – A-game vs B-game language and building awareness in teams
13:40 – Leaders, fear, control, and psychological safety
15:30 – Running toward outcomes vs accessing creativity and big-picture thinking
17:30 – The “flashlight of attention” metaphor for leaders and parents
19:40 – Stress responses, presence, and anchoring attention (breath, feet, listening)
22:00 – Training attention as a performance muscle
25:45 – Stress cycles, recovery, and sustainable performance
29:10 – Introduction to the Closed Eye Process and presence training
32:00 – Deep dive: critiquing vs criticizing explained step-by-step
36:30 – Survival wiring, subconscious files, and performance memory
39:30 – The CHIMP brain, danger signals, and slipping into B-game
42:30 – Small controllable focus as the pathway back to A-game
Key Takeaways:
Critique examines process, not personal worth
Thoughts drive feelings, feelings drive actions, actions drive results
Growth comes from extracting learnings — not from failure alone
Fear narrows focus and creates tunnel vision
Small, controllable focus prevents fight-or-flight
Connection reduces fear and restores execution
Quotes:
“Failure does not give you growth if you are not actually eliciting the lessons from it.” - Emma Murray
“Feet on floor, bum on chair … Bring your attention to your feet, your bum, your breath … those things are gonna anchor you back into the present moment” - Emma Murray
“When all this fails, use your breath” - Emma Murray
“The human mind cannot carry two thoughts simultaneously.” - Dwayne...