Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Today, we’re revisiting one of our favorite Money For Couples episodes of the year. Update: Romy and Travis recently shared an update on YouTube about where they are now. You can watch it here.  Romy and Travis’s story struck a chord with listeners because it shows what really happens when a couple is earning good money…but operating with completely different expectations, habits, and fears around money. This episode is a perfect example of how old patterns can quietly shape a relationship—and what it takes to break them. If you missed it the first time, or want a refresher, this is one of the most revealing conversations of the year. In this episode: • Why Travis believes he can always “go fishing” to make money • How their childhoods shaped their attitudes toward money • The emotional weight Romy carries as the only planner • The story behind Romy’s secret UK savings • Their unclear approach to buying property • How disorganized thinking affects everything from taxes to tipping • The risks of having no real emergency fund • Why Travis’s role as the “reassurer” holds them back • How Ramit helps them redefine generosity • The first steps toward rebuilding trust Chapters: 00:00 — “I tapped my card and it said insufficient funds” 09:23 — “I’m living the same financial life as my parents” 18:13 — Breaking down their numbers 38:14 — The weight of taking on the “man’s” role 52:48 — “I’ve been poor before—I’ll be poor again” 1:02:08 — Living on hope, not numbers 1:12:05 — “We’re doing this together” 1:28:56 — Where are they now? Romy & Travis Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Jamie (45) and Ryan (36) have been married for nearly a decade and share three kids, but their financial foundation was shaken when Ryan quit his high-paying finance job and cashed out his 401(k) without telling Jamie. Now earning far less, they’re still spending like nothing changed, running up credit card debt and ending each month wondering where the money went. Jamie, the higher earner, is anxious about retirement and trust after years of financial surprises, while Ryan avoids money conversations and struggles with insecurity. Layered on top are a 10-year age gap, deep past trauma, and very different visions of a Rich Life. Can Ramit help them rebuild trust, create a real plan, and finally start acting like partners instead of adversaries? In this episode we uncover: • The moment Jamie learned Ryan quit his high-paying job and cashed out his 401(k) • How Ryan’s breaking point at work led to a “nuclear option” decision that shifted stress from the office straight into their marriage Why earning nearly $300K still leaves them feeling broke • The trust fallout from repeated unilateral decisions, including quitting jobs, cashing out retirement accounts, and impulsive purchases • How Ryan’s spending on shoes, clothes, and even a classic car mirrors patterns he watched growing up • Jamie’s role as the default financial manager • The vacation-vs-things blame cycle that keeps them stuck spending instead of saving • Why hiding money in a separate savings account felt like the only way Jamie could protect their future • The uncomfortable truth behind their $13K emergency fund • How calling their own spending “stupid” and “dumb” keeps them trapped in shame instead of change • The emotional toll of living in constant financial vigilance while still spending freely on convenience and comfort • How a failed $500 spending rule exposed their lack of shared systems • The powerful influence of Midwestern money guilt, family secrecy, and conflicting childhood money messages • Jamie’s past divorce and financial trauma • The shift from adversaries to collaborators Chapters: (00:00:00) “We’ll just go our separate ways” (00:18:56) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:40:49) “Smart people can make stupid choices” (00:52:26) “Can we become a team again?” (01:02:09) “Is this a Rich Life—or just a really long to-do list?” (01:14:36) “You’ve turned dysfunction into permission” (01:28:57) “I’m bitter that I have to pay it off” (01:39:21) Where are they now? Jamie and Ryan’s follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: Gelt | Book a tax consultation with Gelt at https://joingelt.com/ramit. As a member of my community, you can skip the waitlist Trust & Will | Protect what matters most in minutes at https://trustandwill.com/ramit and get 10% off plus free shipping. Aura Frames | Use promo code RAMIT to get $35 off the best-selling Carver Mat frames at https://auraframes.com DeleteMe | If you want to get your personal information removed from the web, go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit for 20% off Rocket Money | Cancel unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster at https://rocketmoney.com/ramit Links mentioned in this episode • If you want help with your finances, join my Money Coaching program at https://iwt.com/moneycoaching Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Ado (33) and Gabby (32) are exhausted by a cycle they can’t seem to escape: getting into credit card debt, paying it off, and then ending up right back where they started. Now, with $44,000 in credit card balances, student loans on both sides, and an $1,800 monthly daycare bill, they feel one setback away from losing everything. Ado’s avoidant, live-in-the-moment approach clashes with Gabby’s desire for structure and long-term security. Both come from financially chaotic childhoods, and those old patterns are replaying in their marriage. They dream of moving to Europe and building stability for their young daughter—but can they break the cycle that’s defined their entire relationship? This episode asks: What will it take for them to finally stop the spiral and create a plan that lasts? In this episode we uncover: • Why Ado and Gabby keep finding themselves back in credit card debt • How their “dance” of overspending, working extra, and then trying to catch up has cost them thousands • The emotional toll on Gabby as she tries to break a cycle that feels unsustainable • Why Ramit pushes them to examine their spending through the lens of their daughter watching and learning their habits • Taking apart their monthly budget line by line • The $170 date nights, lattes, Costco trips, and Target runs that add up • Gabby’s realization that overspending isn’t just about Ado • Ado’s upbringing as a Bosnian refugee, and how frugality, scarcity, and parental sacrifice shaped his desire to enjoy life • How childhood experiences continue to shape Gabby’s budgeting, anxiety, and need for security today • How both partners absorb social norms around spending and treat exhaustion as a justification for impulse purchases • The truth about using their savings account as a checking account • The staggering $3,075/month they spend on debt payments • Their dream of moving to Europe being pushed back year after year • The emotional rupture of realizing one missed paycheck could destabilize everything they’ve built Chapters: (00:00:00) “We never tell ourselves no” (00:17:24) “It’s not just about paying off debt” (00:33:21) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:48:21) “I feel like it gives me comfort” (01:02:26) “Money was a weapon” (01:12:53) “Denial lasts a week, vision lasts a lifetime” (01:32:00) “Nobody making this much should have credit card debt” (01:36:45) Where are they now? Ado and Gabby’s follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: Aura Frames | Use promo code RAMIT to get $35 off the best-selling Carver Mat frames at https://auraframes.com Masterclass | Get up to 50% off Masterclass during the holiday season at https://masterclass.com/ramit Facet | Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to https://facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer expires December 31, 2025 Fabric by Gerber Life | Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ramit Wildgrain | Get $30 off the first box — PLUS free Croissants in every box — at https://wildgrain.com/ramit Links mentioned in this episode • Join my event “Becoming Time Rich” on December 18th at 8pm ET. Register at https://iwt.com/timerich Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Karen (45) and Chad (44) built their lives around a high income: buying their dream home in a high-cost city and raising three kids with confidence in the future. But when Chad lost his $340K tech job, everything changed. Three years later, he’s earning half as much, their emergency savings are gone, and they’re borrowing just to stay afloat. Karen lies awake fearing they’re one paycheck away from losing the house, while Chad stays optimistic that a future promotion or windfall will fix everything. Their conversations remain polite but distant, masking deep anxiety, resentment, and two completely different philosophies on money. Can Ramit help them confront reality, reconnect emotionally, and decide whether they can afford to keep the home they love? In this episode we uncover: • How Chad’s income dropped by 50% overnight • The emotional toll of pretending “everything is fine” while secretly fearing they can’t make the mortgage • Why even buying kids’ necessities fills Karen with guilt • Why Chad defaults to thinking “maybe we’re just poor for a while” • The dangerous gap between their public optimism and the reality Karen wrote in her application • How Karen and Chad communicate like polite coworkers instead of partners • The childhood roots that shaped their opposing money philosophies • Why living with zero savings and three children is far more dangerous than Chad realizes • The breakthrough: shifting from tracking numbers to actually making meaning from their spending and fears Chapters: (00:00:00) “We’re one paycheck away from disaster” (00:17:12) “Here we go again” (00:26:21) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:37:22) “I’m looking for solutions, not platitudes” (00:49:47) “Why aren’t you more relaxed with less money?” (01:01:11) “Is the house on fire?” (01:19:32) Where are they now? Karen and Chad’s follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: Bilt | Join the loyalty program for renters at https://joinbilt.com/ramit Aura Frames | Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/RAMIT. Promo Code RAMIT Wispr Flow | Try it for free at https://wisprflow.ai/ramit Gelt | Skip the waitlist at https://joingelt.com/ramit Netsuite | Get the free guide “Demystifying AI” at https://netsuite.com/ramit Links mentioned in this episode • Design your Rich Life for the New Year at my virtual event. Grab your seat at https://iwt.com/richlifereview Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Alex (34) and Jackie (33) have been married for 11 years, raising four young kids while navigating a financial dynamic that’s been strained for nearly as long. Alex is meticulous and cautious — he’s tracked every expense since 2016 — while Jackie follows her instincts and believes God will provide. But when she secretly enrolled in a $5,000 coaching program and later pushed for a $16,000 photography course, Alex’s trust shattered. Now he feels like he’s carrying the entire financial load, while Jackie feels discouraged and untrusted. Their arguments spill into daily life, even in front of their kids. Can Ramit help them rebuild trust, confront their conflicting money beliefs, and finally create a system that brings peace instead of panic? In this episode we uncover: • Why Alex has tracked every dollar since 2016—and how control became his default coping strategy • Jackie’s belief that “money will come” and the role faith plays in her financial decisions • How a secret $5,000 coaching purchase shattered Alex’s sense of safety • The emotional toll of raising four young kids while constantly feeling financially behind • How Jackie’s childhood of scarcity and inconsistent money messages shaped her impulse-driven spending • How Alex’s upbringing around saving, stability, and tithing taught him to equate control with security • Why relying on miracles and unexpected windfalls creates a fragile financial foundation • Jackie’s desire to feel heard, supported, and validated—instead of managed • Why Alex feels lonely and burdened in the role of financial gatekeeper • How a shared money system can shift them from crisis-mode to long-term partnership • The first steps they take toward rebuilding trust, financial clarity, and a plan they can both commit to Chapters: (00:00:00) “Do you trust each other?” (00:17:40) “We had $300 and no plan” (00:29:15) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:37:15) “If we just made more, everything would change” (00:50:52) “I wasn’t taught to dream — just to survive” (00:58:53) “Hope isn’t a financial strategy” (01:07:33) “I want the positive behavior without the crisis” (01:16:36) “The house is on fire” (01:29:07) “That changes everything” (01:36:56) Where are they now? Alex and Jackie’s follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: Gusto | Try Gusto at https://gusto.com/ramit and get 3 months free when you run your first payroll Leesa | Go to https://leesa.com for 30% off mattresses PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code RAMIT, exclusive for my listeners Factor | Go to https://factormeals.com/ramit50OFF and use code RAMIT50OFF to get 50% off your first box, plus free breakfast for 1 year Rocket Money | Cancel unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster at https://rocketmoney.com/ramit Trust & Will | Protect what matters most in minutes at https://trustandwill.com/ramit and get 10% off plus free shipping Links mentioned in this episode • If you want help with your finances, join my Money Coaching program at https://iwt.com/moneycoaching. Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.