The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

The holiday season is approaching fast, and alongside the excitement, you may already be feeling the weight of all the expectations that come with it. Between family traditions, travel plans, and trying to make everyone happy, you can end up with very little energy to enjoy the things you were looking forward to. If you’re ready to do things differently this year, today you’ll get three simple sentences you can use to help you navigate difficult conversations with loved ones when speaking up feels hard. This episode was originally released closer to the holidays, but it is worth revisiting now so you can keep these sentences in your back pocket as you start making plans and navigating expectations.

How long have you been putting off the hard conversation? Join Sara live for one hour for her free workshop, SPEAK UP. There’s no replay, so bring the conversation you keep avoiding. You’ll learn the Three Speak Up Skills and figure out what’s keeping you stuck.

Here’s what you’ll uncover in this episode:
Why changing family traditions or plans can bring up anxiety, guilt, and fear of disappointing people
Why you feel the need to prove or justify what you want before asking for it
How to acknowledge someone else’s perspective without giving up your own wants and needs
The conversational tug of war that happens when someone disagrees with your choices
Why someone else’s disappointment doesn’t have to come at the expense of what you want

Register for SPEAK UP: sarafisk.coach/voice

Find Sara here:
sarafisk.coach
pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations
instagram.com/sarafiskcoach
facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching
tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach
youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

Overthinking can cost you more than time. It can keep you from taking chances and becoming the person who can have what you want. In this episode, you’ll hear a conversation with Dr. Priyanka Venugopal about what it took to move from thinking “Probably not me” to “Why not me?” and pursue a dream without having any evidence that it would work. This mindset shift helped her lose over 60 pounds without counting calories and prepared her to take the stage for her TEDx Talk. It’s not easy, but when you learn to make peace with the idea of failure and be proud of yourself just for trying, so much becomes possible.

How long have you been putting off the hard conversation? Join Sara live for one hour for her free workshop, SPEAK UP. There’s no replay, so bring the conversation you keep avoiding. You’ll learn the Three Speak Up Skills and figure out what’s keeping you stuck.

Here’s what you’ll uncover in this episode:
How to break the habit of treating disappointment as proof that you did something wrong
Why desire will start to outweigh the fear surrounding something when you really want it
How to think about rejection as information instead of turning it into self-criticism
How overthinking can turn something you care about into a performance
The benefit of seeking support if you’re used to figuring things out on your own

Find Priyanka here:
https://youtu.be/-p6KtUizbvs?si=gw38DixCjlL9TyED
https://www.instagram.com/dr.priyankavenugopal/
https://priyankavenugopal.com/
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-burn-stress-lose-weight-podcast/id1618073362

Dr. Priyanka Venugopal is an OB-GYN physician, podcaster, TEDx speaker, and entrepreneur. She’s also a coffee-lover and self-proclaimed expert overthinker. After losing 60 pounds while juggling call shifts and two young kids, she discovered the real problem for smart women was never a lack of discipline... it was the time and energy lost to overthinking. Today she helps overachieving professional women reach their next goal in health, home, or career — and get back the 10+ hours a week overthinking quietly steals.

Register for SPEAK UP: sarafisk.coach/voice

Find Sara here:
sarafisk.coach
pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations
instagram.com/sarafiskcoach
facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching
tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach
youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

How much time and energy do you spend defending choices you’ve already trusted yourself to make? Whether it’s your career, parenting, relationships, or something else entirely, it’s exhausting to keep explaining yourself after you’ve already done the work of deciding. Good girl conditioning can make you feel obligated to defend yourself when someone questions your choices, instead of recognizing what’s actually happening in the conversation. In this episode, you’ll learn the difference between a request, a demand, and a boundary so you can get more clear about what you will and won’t participate in and build the skills to talk about it.

How long have you been putting off the hard conversation? Join Sara live for one hour for her free workshop, SPEAK UP. There’s no replay, so bring the conversation you keep avoiding. You’ll learn the Three Speak Up Skills and figure out what’s keeping you stuck.

Here’s what you’ll uncover in this episode:
The real definition of a boundary and why it often gets confused with something else
How to tell the difference between a request and a boundary
A question to ask before you make a request or set a boundary
How a demand can be disguised as a boundary
Why following through is the essential step in setting a boundary

Register for SPEAK UP: sarafisk.coach/voice

Find Sara here:
sarafisk.coach
pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations
instagram.com/sarafiskcoach
facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching
tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach
youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

How much time do you spend overanalyzing the texts you send to a potential partner or giving guys on dating apps a chance because they seem to have the traits you’ve been taught to look for? If you’re tired of continuing conversations because you feel like you should, giving someone the benefit of the doubt when the evidence in front of you says otherwise, or second-guessing whether you’re being too picky, this episode will help you recognize how good girl conditioning can shape the way you date. Today’s guest, Dr. Jennie Young, creator of the Burned Haystack Dating Method, helps you see the patterns in your dating life more clearly so you can trust your judgment and make choices that create more peace and safety.

Want to take this work deeper? Join Sara live for one hour for her free workshop, SPEAK UP. There’s no replay, so bring the conversation you keep avoiding. You’ll learn the Three Speak Up Skills and figure out what’s keeping you stuck.

Here’s what you’ll uncover in this episode:
Why “good” is a more abstract and gendered term than you may realize
How good girl conditioning can make it harder to see the meaning behind someone’s words and behavior
How being trained to see “potential” in men can affect the choices you make in dating
Why treating politeness as protective can actually work against you
Why you need to give yourself permission to walk away when the evidence tells you something isn’t right

Register for SPEAK UP: sarafisk.coach/voice

Find Jennie here:
burnedhaystack.substack.com/p/burned-haystack-dating-method-quick
www.facebook.com/groups/9116647515019601

Find Sara here:
sarafisk.coach
pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations
instagram.com/sarafiskcoach
facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching
tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach
youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

What do you say when you don’t want to go? Your friends are making plans, everyone is excited, and you’re worried that if you say “no” this time, they’ll stop inviting you altogether. So you say “yes” even though what they’re planning isn’t really your thing, and you spend the rest of the week dreading it. You may tell yourself you don’t have a good enough reason to say no, but the cost of going along with everyone else is more than one night you don’t enjoy. This is the final episode of a series called “What Do You Say When…” These short episodes will each give you one concrete thing you can say when you’re stuck in a difficult moment.

If you want more, join Sara live for one hour this week for a free workshop, SPEAK UP. There’s no replay, so bring the conversation you keep avoiding. You’ll learn the Three Speak Up Skills and figure out what’s keeping you stuck.

Register for SPEAK UP: sarafisk.coach/voice

Find Sara here:
sarafisk.coach
pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations
instagram.com/sarafiskcoach
facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching
tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach
youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333