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My guest this week is the brilliant Jennie Young, a professor of rhetoric at the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay, specialising in applied rhetoric, humour, and feminism.
When Jennie found herself stepping into the world of dating apps following her divorce, she was shocked by the bizarre communication habits that had become normal in online dating. As a rhetoric professor specialising in critical discourse analysis, she realised that she could use her training to decode patterns and protect herself from offensive messages and terrible dates. Jennie started cataloging what she saw and began to experiment with her own profile. As a result, although the messages coming slowed to a crawl, the ones that got through were solid matches.
From this was born her Burned Haystack Method, a ruthless approach to online dating that I personally think is not only brilliant, but also the only way to date if you’re going to be on the apps. In February 2023, Jennie started a free Facebook group to teach other women this approach and today the community is more than 250,000 strong. You guys are going to LOVE this episode because whether you’re dating or not, if you’re a woman who has date men, you’re going to be nodding your head and rolling your eyes as you listen to this conversation. Jennie’s brand new book, Burn The Haystack, is out TODAY if you’re in North America, and it’s out on 23rd April if you’re in the UK.
02:15 Meet Jennie Young
05:02 Jenny Origin Story
07:12 Why Apps Feel Awful
08:56 Burned Haystack Begins
12:36 Bad Advice Women Get
15:31 Needle in Haystack Metaphor
17:28 Rules and Discourse Analysis
23:46 Rhetorical Red Flags
31:08 Block to Burn Rule
36:21 No Pen Pals
40:08 Safety and Location Settings
41:16 Geography Matters
41:56 Ludic Looping Trap
47:33 Dating Like Job Search
49:01 Book And Method
50:56 Top Red Flags
56:38 Green Flags And Profiles
58:34 Being Ruthless Works
01:01:12 Women Give Chances
01:06:34 Method Beyond Dating
01:08:16 Her Success Story
01:10:51 Chemistry And Spark
Check out Jennie's website: https://www.jennieyoung.com/
Buy Jennie's book, Burn The Haystack: https://www.jennieyoung.com/burn-the-haystack-book
But the book on Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Burn-Haystack-Decode-Dating-Matter/dp/0063447576
Join the Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/9116647515019601/
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USA