You’ve heard the women’s stories. Now what? You don’t have to be an expert or a superhero.
Rabbi Barry Dolinger, executive director of the International Beit Din, and Anna Cable, a social worker and trauma expert, offer some concrete advice. Change is possible.
In This Episode
How to offer support to someone in a coercive relationship
What to do when a friend is trying to escape an abusive marriage
Ways to address domestic abuse in the Jewish community
The role of public actions in influencing gett refusers
How to hold Batei Din accountable
Overview of the work of the International Beit Din
Key Moments
[00:01:46] What to do if someone you know is experiencing coercive control
[00:05:18] How to intervene if you see red flags
[00:07:07] How to help a friend considering escaping from their abusive husband
[00:09:24] How to help a community member who’s fled their marriage
[00:16:48] Ways to address gett refusal and domestic abuse on a community level
Learn more, access resources, and read the full transcript at https://www.internationalbeitdin.org/gettingfree/.
If you or someone you know is being denied a gett, confidential support is available at https://www.internationalbeitdin.org/get-help/
Are they free?
03/29/2026 | 31 mins.
Julia, Melissa, Amit, Alla, and Helen continue their stories. How do they get out? We walk through all of the strategies and reveal what works – or doesn’t – for each of them.
In This Episode
An anonymous agunah shares her experience when her husband was shamed publicly.
Amit turns to advocate Adina Sash, aka Flatbush Girl, for help getting her gett.
A beit din in Israel gets creative to convince Helen’s husband to give a gett.
Melissa discovers her husband’s deception, and pursues a heter.
Julia comes to the International Beit Din for help.
Key Moments
[00:02:50] Emily explains the impact that public shaming had on her family.
[00:04:30] Amit turns to advocate Adina Sash for help.
[00:10:39] A beit din gets creative to help Helen.
[00:16:02] Melissa discovers her husband’s past.
[00:21:04] The IBD’s mission isn’t to help women remarry, it’s to help them heal from abuse and trauma.
[00:24:38] Julia comes to the International Beit Din for help.
Learn more, access resources, and read the full transcript at https://www.internationalbeitdin.org/gettingfree/.
If you or someone you know is being denied a gett, confidential support is available at https://www.internationalbeitdin.org/get-help/
Yes, the women will be sacrificed
03/22/2026 | 24 mins.
Many family members and rabbis insist that the women make things work, despite violence, verbal, and financial abuse. Not only that, but they support the husband in his gett refusal, expecting or even encouraging extortion. Why are we letting this happen?
In This Episode
Alla’s situation gets worse, and she decides to leave.
Even when women face abuse and violence, people they trust tell them to stay in their marriages.
If gett refusal is against Jewish law, why do community members encourage it to happen?
When the Jewish community acts like this is normal, what does it do to the women?
Key Moments
[00:00:29] The moment Alla decided to leave.
[00:03:31] How Alla’s family reacted to her decision.
[00:07:16] Rabbis encourage the women not to rock the boat.
[00:10:53] Why rabbis sometimes put the interests of the community over the needs of agunot.
[00:17:57] Why do the women think the Jewish community tolerates gett refusal?
Learn more, access resources, and read the full transcript at https://www.internationalbeitdin.org/gettingfree/.
If you or someone you know is being denied a gett, confidential support is available at https://www.internationalbeitdin.org/get-help/
What about the men?
03/15/2026 | 18 mins.
They don’t want their wives back. It’s been years since they lived together. But the husbands won’t grant a religious divorce. Why stay married to someone you despise? What motivates gett refusers? We hear from the men.
In This Episode
Arguments from men who say refusing a gett is ok.
Results from an International Beit Din study looking at how many of our clients experience abuse during their marriage.
Rabbinical rulings on when husbands should give the gett.
What we hear when we talk to gett-refusing husbands.
Key Moments
[00:01:25] Meet the most famous advocate for gett refusal: Meir Kin
[00:05:07] Meet Nathan Gettisberg
[00:06:44] Is there a “right” to remain married in Jewish Law?
[00:12:33] What Jewish Law says about conditioning a gett
[00:12:54] The ruling of Rabbi Yosef Eliyahu Henkin
[00:14:55] Rabbi Barry Dolinger talks to gett refusers.
See the full transcript of our interview with Nathan Gettisberg at https://www.internationalbeitdin.org/gettingfree/
Learn more, access resources, and read the full transcript at https://www.internationalbeitdin.org/gettingfree/.
If you or someone you know is being denied a gett, confidential support is available at https://www.internationalbeitdin.org/get-help/
More than a messy divorce
03/08/2026 | 27 mins.
Why does this religious divorce matter to the women? Why don’t they just walk away? They explain, in their own voices. Advocates and legal experts also weigh in on the abuse and violation of Jewish law that fuels the agunah crisis.
In This Episode
What the gett process should look like
Why don’t agunot just leave the marriage without a gett?
The practical consequences of not having a gett
How controlling husbands use this process to delay and extort women
Key Moments
[00:06:00] Why not leave your marriage without a gett?
[00:10:40] How is the gett process supposed to work?
[00:16:58] Misconceptions about Jewish divorce.
[00:20:37] Helen faces litigation abuse.
[00:21:22] Melissa faces extortion.
Learn more, access resources, and read the full transcript at https://www.internationalbeitdin.org/gettingfree/.
If you or someone you know is being denied a gett, confidential support is available at https://www.internationalbeitdin.org/get-help/
They left abusive marriages. But under Jewish law, they were still not free.
Getting Free is a six-episode limited series sharing the firsthand stories of five women whose abusive husbands denied them a Jewish divorce, known as a gett, to keep controlling them long after the relationship was over.
A Jewish marriage is not fully dissolved without a religious divorce. When a husband refuses to grant it, a woman becomes an agunah — a “chained woman.” No civil court can free her.
In their own voices, Amit, Julia, Helen, Melissa, and Alla each recount their courtship, marriage, separation, and long fight for freedom. They describe how financial pressure, custody threats, isolation, intimidation, and violence continued even after they left. Some are still not free.
Gett refusal is not a private dispute. It is the continuation of abuse. It affects Jewish women of all ages and denominations worldwide, raising urgent questions about power, faith, and communal responsibility.
Hosted by Rabbanit Leah Sarna and produced by the International Beit Din, Getting Free names the withholding of a gett for what it is: abuse and a violation of Jewish law. It also shows how, with proper support, women in these situations can get free.
To learn more about the series or seek help, visit internationalbeitdin.org/gettingfree.
The women in Getting Free are professionals, mothers, and leaders from diverse Jewish backgrounds and levels of observance.
We do not speak for them.They speak for themselves.
Because change begins with listening.
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